[img]9|left||remove link|no_popup[/img]I probably should have saved a portion of my omelette from breakfast this morning to apply to the faces of those oh-so-certain City Hall officials who have been panting over the imminent arrival in Culver City of the Expo light rail line.
Loosen your neckties, boys, unknot your shoes, unbutton your jackets, and unstring your girdle, Myrtle. We are going to be hanging out in the Waiting Room for a long time.
Would you believe a generation? Would you believe never?
I believe the revised schedule calls for the Baloney Light Rail to dock for the first time at Washington and National immediately after the next UFO landing at Washington and National.
Thankful for Familiar Faces
You may recognize the lineup of gentlemen who are piloting the Baloney Light Rail into Culver City.
The Tooth Fairy will be driving. Santa Claus will be in the passenger seat. And isn’t that the Easter Bunny doing the backseat driving?
The Baloney Light Rail Line will debut in Culver City right after Mr. Fairy, Mr. Claus and Mr. Bunny are elected to the City Council.
I hope to live another 30 years.
I am not optimistic about seeing light rail in Culver City until I am too old to hobble into a passenger seat.
Out of Money
I see where Expo and MTA officials announced yesterday afternoon that fast-rising construction costs — imagine that, construction expenses going up instead of down — are likely to prevent the 8.9-mile Baloney Light Rail Line from reaching Culver City anytime soon.
Rick Thorpe, the chief officer of the Expo Authority, no stranger to our town’s Council Chambers, said that construction expenses rose at almost four times the projected rate.
The Irony of It All
This announcement from the clowns at the MTA/Expo circus was as predictable as a hobo begging for a handout.
How ironic that the Metropolitan Transit Authority announced the almost 25 percent jump in costs, from $640 million to $785 million, the day after it intimidated The Jungle nursery off its property at Washington and Robertson boulevards.
Why? To accommodate the Baloney Light Rail Line? In two words, gentleman, ha and ha.
Look Who Is Doing Well
That the reconstructed Jungle is away to a sizzling boffo commercial start at its new location, 1900 Sawtelle Blvd., at Missouri Avenue, in West Los Angeles, is a delicious development in view of the entirely predictable mess the MTA is making.
How must our friends at City Hall feel this morning after applying the toe of their boot to the tushes of beleaguered, overwhelmed shopowners up and down Exposition Boulevard, and now being stuck with no way to replace them and their relatively meager revenue?
It is a sweet moment for minimal pity.
Second Thoughts?
How must our friends at City Hall feel about seriously damaging the lives of these pathetic small-time merchants who were dumped into the nearest Culver City gutter?
All to satisfy a vague scheme that smelled like a boondoggle from the beginning.
How Humiliating
What about these evicted vest-pocket entrepreneurs who lived modestly for years? Now they and their families have been forced to scramble as if their were doghouse rabble who refused to hustle for a living?
Wherever these persons are this morning — and they have been difficult to track — maybe they are enjoying a hollow, ironic laugh.
Ten years from today, let us meet at this same corner and shmooze about how there are three ways to reach downtown Los Angeles from Culver City — drive, bicycle or ride a bus. The Baloney Light Rail Line still is in the talking stages.
