Home Editor's Essays A Crime Happened? Liberal Reaction: Let’s Make a Law to ‘Stop’ It

A Crime Happened? Liberal Reaction: Let’s Make a Law to ‘Stop’ It

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Left-wing politicians remind me of a huffing woman so sloppy fat her upper body is indistinguishable from her lower extremities.

Madame Bulgy never gets enough to eat.

Left-wingers are incapable of satiating their bottomless appetite for curing what they suspect ails society. They can’t help themselves, running through their neighborhoods blowing sirens that global warming, for example, is going to end the world before “General Hospital “goes off television.

Whether a cat is up a tree or a house is burning down with four infants, heaven forbid, inside, for loose-change liberals, every situation deserves to be labeled an Emergency.

Priorities are anathema to them.


Lefties Loathe to Learn

This is why left-wing legislators typically trip down the aisle in Sacramento on two left feet, hopelessly entangling their ankles as they trample each other rushing to the door to prevent the world from being taken over by sensible people.

Which brings us to the troubling case of Bookending Busybody Mike Eng. In the lamebrained liberal community, “busybody” is a compliment that places the gentleman in good standing because busybody-ness is their motto.

Left-wing legislators — think Bass, think Ridley-Thomas, think Watson, think Burke, think Waters — are the type who would barge, uninvited, into a stranger’s kitchen, lift the lid on a pot simmering on the stove, sniff, say “Not seasoned enough,” and proceed to heavily salt the contents, then slip out the back door. Busybodies know what is best for all of us, even if they don’t know us.


Your Seat or Mine?

State Assembly from East Los Angeles, is an athletic sort, I presume.

Not long ago, the Bookending Busybodies, Mr. Eng and his roommate wife, the estimable Judy Chu, were caught playing pitch-and-catch with Assembly seats in their Eastside front yard.

When Ms. Chu was term limited out of the California Assembly, she dropped to her hands and knees and started scouring the house for a suitable replacement.

Now where did she leave him?

Crawling through the various rooms, Ms. Chu found her husband asleep on the couch.

By golly whillickers, before you could say “Assemblyperson Judy Chu is leaving that august body in Sacramento,” she had turned her roommate into Assemblyman Mike Eng. But lefties all look like. Who can tell one from another?



Couple No Stranger to Stunts

Besides, Mr. Bookending Busybody and Ms. Bookending Busybody have pulled this before.

They tag-teamed the Monterey Park City Council the same way, too. She was a Council member from ’88 to ’01. He served from ’03 to ‘07, vacating the City Council just as she was reluctantly surrendering her seat in Sacramento.

Ms. Bookending Busybody naturally was not content to segue into housewifery and let sensible people take over government. She was elected to a seat on the State Board of Equalization, which nearly became a nervous wreck anticipating her arrival.


A Tragedy to be Capitalized on

We come now to one week ago today when Lawrence King, an apparently gay15-year-old student at Green Junior High in Oxnard, was murdered in front of horrified students, allegedly by classmate Brandon McInerney.

The wing-flapping ignorance of liberals promptly sprang into action.


Gotta Do More, Gotta Do More, Gotta…

It was not enough for Mr. Busybody that young Mr. McInerney stands accused of premeditated murder — with a special allegation of a hate crime, a silly busybody law pushed through a few years ago by an earlier set of dumb liberals.

That would be bad enough. I mean, liberals are like lice in your hair. Insects under your bed. Shoo. Go away.

Overnight, Mr. Busybody morphed into Mr. Murder Meddler. He burbled and bungled, as liberals are wont to do.

Hungry for attention, the Chairman of the Assembly’s “Hate Crimes Committee” convinced himself he had to do something besides mourn the tragedy. Mr. Murder Meddler announced that by golly he would strike back. Even though we have goofy “diversity education” policies running out of our ears and our pores, liberals, being elidists, never can admit we have enough laws. The greedy gougers need to be constantly fed.


Naddering Nags of Negativity

Like mothers-in-law, or Napoleonic men, liberals just keep shoving until even sensible people abandon their impressive reservoirs of patience.

Mr. Murder Meddler said yesterday he would introduce a twin-barreled bill that would expand mandatory diversity education throughout the state’s public schools, and, drum roll, please, widen the present criminal statutes regarding “hate crimes.”

Underworked insecure liberals are so ignorant they think “hate crimes” laws and “diversity education” courses will curb violence against so-called non-mainstream persons, that is, those who believe differently from liberals.


Making a Difference

I have a very, very close relative, whom I love and who is gay.

Neither daffy “diversity education” nor goofy “hate crimes” laws kept him from being harassed during his student days.

Serious resolutions lie much deeper, a concept too tall for the doilies on the American Left to grasp.