Home OP-ED Duh No. 17: Sprinkle Away!

Duh No. 17: Sprinkle Away!

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Last week my wife noticed that the backyard sprinkler valves were leaking. Don’t tell anyone, but I had noticed that fact months ago.

After replacing the valve diaphragms with no success, I bought a new pair of valves. I cut off the old valves and put on the new ones. Yikes! The sprinklers no longer leaked, but they would not shut off.

The very brief and ineffectual “directions” that came with the sprinkler valve don’t tell you to:

  1. Duh – Make sure you put the valve with the solenoid side on the pipe where the water flows up. (I got it backwards at first.)
  2. Duh – Make sure you can turn the ON-OFF dial on the valve freely. 
  3. Duh – Make sure you remove the small white cap from inside the solenoid to enable the solenoid to move freely.
  4. Duh – Make sure you move the ON-OFF dial on the valve only slightly counter-clockwise, after turning it to OFF.

Finally – after three frustrating days – success!

Duh No. 18: In the Bag. YUM!

I’ve made lots of popcorn over the years: Air popped, in oil (in a spinning machine and on the stove top), and microwaved. A week ago, I read online about paper bag popping. I tried it. Duh – I Love It! It’s the healthiest and best tasting popcorn ever.

Just add ¼ cup of kernels to a brown paper lunch bag. Fold the top twice, stand up the bag, and microwave for two minutes and forty-five seconds (or until most popping stops). Add a tablespoon of melted margarine (or butter) and a sprinkle of salt, and VOILA! YUMMY.

Duh No. 19: Bye,Bye Little Pool Bugs

After my pool’s skimmer broke over a year ago, I have been swimming with (and probably ingesting) myriad minute creatures. I just replaced the skimmer, and duh – the clearest water ever! And much less debris on the bottom of the pool.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com