[img]1862|right|John Walsh||no_popup[/img]Welcome to Gil Garcetti's revenge on the Los Angeles Political Establishment
The new Three-G Network gets plugged into power on July Inauguration Day.
Be there. Or be, from now on, un-plugged to City Hall Power Lines
Starting July 1, the most powerful politician in this city of four million is named Garcetti. His first name, however, is Gil. Not Eric.
Over the next four years, forever-vigilant watchdog hollywoodhighlands.org will be incessantly nipping at all four of the incumbent mayors’ heels.
From the First of July onward, the official Semi-Law Firm of Garcetti & Garcetti attaches its brand new shingle to The Mayor's Office Door at LA City Hall!
From now on, no more Dope and Sex happenings inside the L.A. Mayor's third- floor Downtown City Hall office under the administration of The Two Garcettis like what's been occurring over the past eight years when hot and stoned Mayor Villaraigosa was in full charge over there!
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Three proud members of the Garcetti family – Eric, Gil, Gil’s ever-present red scarf.
Take a good look at that kinda creepy photo. Baby Eric can feel Daddy Gil's eyes almost burning twin holes into his back.
Except Kid Garcetti is quite used to that type of treatment from Daddy Dearest. Nothing Freudian here. Just plain Filial Piety gone amok.
The Double-Barreled Garcetti motivation responsible for 50-50, quest for L.A. Mayor is not dope, sex or money! The Garcetti Double-Mayors already are fabulously wealthy, and not in the least greedy or horny!
The Garcettis have more money than they know what to do with. That's why they created the Roth Foundation, to give away a large part of their fortune.
Remove avarice and sex obsession as possible Garcetti family motivators right now.
The Garcetti political impetus springs solely from the quest for more and more power, alongside an endlessly-inflatable personal ego, transmitted genetically from father to son.
L.A. residents actually got a real bargain on Election Day. Voters unwittingly elected the Garcetti Family Team to office. Remember awhile back when Papa Gil Garcetti got whipped at the polls by Steve Cooley for D.A.?
Where Did I Last Hear That?
Grandpa Gil just became the L.A. No. 1 Comeback Kid.
Poor Señor Garcetti Sr. was universally regarded as political roadkill after his ignominious re-election defeat of 2000.
Gil and Steve actually set a record by debating one another 15 times that year. But the O.J. Curse worked its magic. Voters of Los Angeles County gave Mr. G. Garcetti his D.A. walking papers.
Who would have imagined at the time that the D.A.'s hyper-artistically sensitive, then 29-year-old college professor son would years later lead Papa Gil hand-in-hand up the long, hard path toward Political Redemption while simultaneously a no-longer smirking, shamelessly-obese O.J. Simpson rots in a Nevada prison.
Go Figure. Only in L.A.
Whoopee! So we're getting two Mayors for half the price. Co-Mayors Gil and Eric.
The only question that remains: Is Gil Eric's shadow? Or is Eric Gil’s shadow?
The same Bonus Mayor Deal would have taken place awhile ago in L.A. when Jimmy Hahn got elected Mayor. But County Supervisor Kenny (Daddy) Hahn was already dead by then!
For every L.A. City Father who sorta likes Eric personally, there are 10 members of The City Fathers Club who despise the very thought of Old Man Gil hidden returning to real L.A. power.
That's the main reason the city's Power Brokers settled upon Wendy G over Ricky G.
She as Mayor would have appreciated and embraced her subservient place in the future scheme of All Things Political in the City of L.A.
Let's not forget that Eric was The Brethren's second choice for Mayor. Only fear of Old Man Gil’s comeback to power disqualified the Little Prince from receiving their actual endorsement.
But Gil & Co. aka Eric & Co. outsmarted the City Fathers on the campaign trail and easily took home all the Municipal Marbles in May, leaving Bitter Wendy and frustrated backer Eli out in the just-as-bitter office-holder cold!
For Kid Garcetti, getting rid of Papa Garcetti once they were elected joint-L.A. mayor, would be as unthinkable as cutting off his own right arm without anesthesia.
Don't you get it??? They're a team, like Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his ever-popular semi-human creation.
Why Broad Chose Broad
The reason Eli Broad and Co. chose to extend their group-blessing on Wendy's pretty head rather than Eric's pretty head is Wendy's electoral package obviously would not include a father of hers in the middle of all things mayoral, doing his super-best to dominate everyone and control everything in sight. Like Eric's dad.
The City Fathers didn't regard Gil Garcetti as the fly in the ointment if they backed Eric. The City Fathers regarded Gil Garcetti as the tarantula in the ointment if they backed Eric.
Here's the new division of labor between our newly-emerging Co- Mayors: Eric gets to play the heroic role he most relishes, that of The Ageless and Ever-Inventive Los Angeles Mayor who embraces both the Yuppie and Millennial generations.
Eric and Bliss Shake Hands
Tricky Ricky is fully-guaranteed a four-year span, locating himself exactly where he is always truly happiest: In front of his beloved news and entertainment cameras, microphones and notepads, where the lenses and naive reporters love him back just as hard as Eric forever loves himself.
The Little Prince already had auditioned for the real-life part by playing that fictitious character of L.A. Mayor aboard the hit TV series “The Closer,” receiving good reviews in the bargain.
Henceforth, Garcetti the Elder will sit in Brentwood with a laptop on his ancient knees. He will do the tough nuts and bolts, intellectual labor attached to this mayoral office of great L.A. power, with a staff of up to 200 at his command to assist him while Garcetti the Younger coolly, joyously takes all the mass media deep bows at City Hall.
Gileric will put both their heads together before making the big, tough executive decisions, winding up deciding mostly the Gil-Half's way.
How exactly did Mayor In-It-for-Himself win this coveted role? Simple. One producer of The Closer early-on took a shine to him, created the character of Mayor Ramon Quintero exclusively for Tricky Ricky. He cast him in the part without so much as a cold reading for anyone else. Who was the angel who virtually elected Eric The Mayor of the Mythical L.A. as seen on The Closer?
The answer: None other than Mr. Gil Garcetti himself. He was a major behind-the-scenes part of The Closer production team long before Eric was brought in. Fact- check that piece of info if you're doubtful and have spare time on your hands.
From now on, Papa Gil has the final say on all major decisions made at City Hall, a job Father & Son regard as no more than an obligatory waystation on the Road to the White House.
Take another look at the Eric-Gil-Scarf photo snapped on stage at the Hollywood Palladium's Garcetti Victory Celebration last week. Check out Gil's shadowy eye-sockets. That long, odd, out-of-place scarf of his looks like something a hip Catholic priest might wear to celebrate a Devil's Black Mass.
Anyone who does battle with their likes knows that, like Lawrence of Arabia, the Garcettis take no prisoners.
