When I was going through a difficult divorce years ago, I would lie down to sleep, feeling as if my whole body had been a punching bag.
No, I had not been hit during the divorce. My feelings were about daily traumas.
I tend to experience life mentally as opposed to those who enjoy living through the physicality of their bodies.
I prefer to ride a motorbike. Others choose a team activity involving lots of people.
All of us are a combination of both behaviors, physical and emotional. One will be the dominant.
An immutable law of nature is that opposites attract. We see this in nature.
Take a magnet: There is a positive and a negative. The positive attracts the negative. The negative repels the negative just as the positive repels the positive.
Unfortunately, the opposites that attracted you to your current partner are what will cause you to split if you are not careful. It is helpful if you know which you are, and the opposites you are looking for.
The physical likes to be out and about, is outgoing, loves being the focus of attention. Family is No. 1 for him, group activities second, work third. Popular with his workmates, he often holds a supervisorial position because of his people skills.
How We Differ
Such persons experience love not by being told but through the sex act. The more frequent the better. A cautionary note here is that the physical will start to nag and complain if not receiving enough physical attention.
The emotional prefers the mental side of life, and he enjoys individual activities. Work is the first priority, one-person pastimes are second and family is third. These persons choose work over all else. Cool, detached, logical, they make good actors, doctors, lawyers and accountants.
You can see opposites will complement each other. It will last three months into a relationship before the true dominant behaviors of each comes to the fore.
For example, the emotional who has been going to every social event with his new physical girlfriend, says no to an invitation. She is surprised. Go on your own, he says. This begins to happen more with increasing frequency. She complains he never wants to go anywhere with her. He counters that she never wants to spend time with him at home. She is in a permanent go mode.. He is spending too much time at work, she charges. Their sex is too occasional for her.
The sex drive of the emotional, remember, is not the same as for a physical.
A physical wants sex multiple times daily. An emotional goes along – temporarily. For three months. By then, sex every three days is more than enough. For him, the sex act is not only a physical release but more importantly mental. Unless the emotional one visualizes what is going to happen, nothing likely will.
Finally the emotional tries hard to explain why he works so many hours. In his mind, he shows love by buying things for his girlfriend. The more expensive the gift, the more he shows he loves her. He is baffled she does not understand this formula, that he works to raise the money to pay for her gifts.
You see how this will play out. She becomes more aggravated with his stay- at-home, stay-at-work attitude and lack of intimacy. He becomes fed up and finds a new girlfriend.
This Is Crucial
Understanding the reasons for your behavior and your partner’s helps in multiple ways. This insight creates the patience and understanding that you need to find and to keep the relationship you want.
Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
