With a few hours tantalizingly dangling before his roaming eyes until Election Day dawns, former President Clinton has one more tempting opportunity to cause mischief in the midterm elections.
He interfered in Pennsylvania, trying to coax the Democrat Senate candidate Joe Sestak to make a Clinton-greased pivot to a Washington job.
He interfered in Colorado, deviously promising incumbent Democrat Sen. Michael Bennett a semi-juicy appointment in Washington if only he would slyly withdraw.
Finally, the other day in Florida, he thought he had weaseled Democrat Senate candidate Kendrick (I Have No Chance) Meek into pulling out of a three-way race so that Mr. Clinton could boost his new boy, Independent Charlie Crist, the current Republican governor, to victory.
Got that?
Skullduggery Does Not Matter
In each case, the egotistical Mr. Clinton’s astounding, virulently unethical interference was intended to push one of his boys through the keyhole.
Democrat to Democrat, not one of the three stories had legs.
He failed to persuade any of the three, which would embarrass, if not humiliate, a normal person.
The yawning reaction by Mr. Clinton’s iron-loyal boys in the media was a xerox of the way Houdini escaped the noose that should have been his punishment every time he broke faith with either his family or the American people.
His is a tale that belongs in the Mother Goose catalogue.
For 18 years he has laughed at the American people. His wide chorus of toadies just shake their heads. “He is laughing with us not at us,” they naïvely insist.
If you think the black Jon Stewart now occupying the White House has a stranglehold on the media, you should know he is a bumbling amateur when his meager stature is arrayed against Mr. Clinton’s.
The media plays monkey to the former President’s organ-grinder. Anything he wants is their pleasure.
He’s Available Tonight and Tomorrow
Despite his exalted status —Mr. Clinton thinks teleprompters are date machines — I remain surprised every time Mr. Clinton commits his next outrageous juvenile offense, and the press nearly goes blind winking.
The favorite Clinton joke around Washington between 1992 and 2000 was that he would have to kill a certain number of people and be found in bed with more than one dead boy before any criticism would be aimed at the most charming liar to hit the White House since FDR.
A Republican attempting a similar stunt in any of those venues would have been cremated and buried by now.
Down in Florida, y’all, the GOP would have been decimated for a generation. The GOP would have been hopelessly slathered with an all-inclusive racism charge that would have made Swish’s bunny ears ring for a month if one of their members had tried to nudge a black man out of a prestigious race and supplant him with a gentleman of the Caucasian persuasion to defeat a Latin (the GOP frontrunner).
But with Mr. Clinton, foolish offenses are forgiven in advance so that time does not have to be wasted later.
Mr. Clinton’s boys in the media have made a cozy deal for life — they will never rat on him until he is at least 6 feet south of the surface. And in return? “You are so charming, Mr. Clinton, we don’t need a payoff.”
When the Florida story broke last week, the left-wing boys in the media were so efficient they almost staged the funeral before the Clinton camp could boast of its silly sally into the odiferous Democrat gutter.
Robin Abcarian, the aging new rewrite girl at the Los Angeles Titanic, was so busy salting Associated Press stories knocking Republican candidates, and signing her name, that she didn’t have time to treat the Clinton story.
The newest Clinton embarrassment was, you will forgive the pun, meekly dismissed in five innocuous paragraphs.
At The New York Times, the boys jubilantly reported that Mr. Clinton succeeded in his sneaky play even though Mr. Meek changed his mind and decided not to bail — or never promised to quit in the first place. The Times said Saturday that a significant number of black voters were switching to Mr. Crist because they agreed with Mr. Clinton’s brilliant reason: As the only non-Republican in the race with a chance to upset frontrunning Marco Rubio, Mr. Crist had told Mr. Clinton, if elected, he would caucus with the Democrats — before and after You Know Who, the Secretary of State, becomes America’s first woman President.
Meanwhile, last Friday a separate tale broke that Mr. Crist sent a cross to Mr. Meek and suggested he ponder his decision while studying the holy piece. You know how extreme those Democrat religious fanatics are.
