A years’ too long marriage to my least favorite former Mrs. Noonan — an unembarrassable woman — probably should have steeled me for this embarrassing juncture in the embarrassing Occupy L.A. movement.
Studying the chicken-like behavior of Mayor I Love Me and Police Chief At Your Beck and Call the last two days, I have one question for each “man” — “Have you no shame?”
Having just committed a humiliating national sin, these professional pretenders should be jailed in the same cell with the usual swash of punk impersonators.
The dim bulb Mayor, who worships sludge, appears politically boxed in:
On one side are his old labor union pals, who are funding the Occupiers. On the other flank are the muscular, supposedly influential Downtown entrepreneurs whowant the human Occupy trash dumped from the tallest roof.
No Surprise
When the Mayor and the Police Chief rolled into their favorite gas station for a gut-check this morning, the grim attendant told them, “Sorry, boys. You are on empty.”
Isn’t anyone else angry over what these two dogs have done to the reputation of Our Town?
Here is an idea: What if we swap the Mayor for another Mayer, say, Louie B? Who cares if he’s been dead a half-century? Even a corpse will run the town better.
If Mayor I Love Me gets another job in politics above the maintenance level, everybody who voted for Dr. Dunce should be rounded up and forced to spend his remaining days in a stockade on a pig farm. In other words, home.
I know Our Town’s historic reputation for being laidback. But this is, like, dead.
The entitled sludge who have converted Downtown into an eight-weeks-old garbage can where normal people fear to tread, needed barely 50 days to force the prideless Chief and the clueless Mayor into retreat, turning Los Angeles into a punchline.
Time to Resign
Chief Call should return to making horror films. Mayor Me should go back to clubbing recalcitrant union members over the head with baseball bats he stole for kicks.
Supposedly the two most powerful persons in Los Angeles give an order, and the sludge respond the same way Swish Obama does when a meets a Republican or a former Mrs. Noonan on the street.
The Mayor and the Police Chief — twin examples of the Peter Principle screaming for relief — ordered the sludge who comprise the stinking Occupy L.A. shantytown to vacate the City Hall lawn by one minute after midnight yesterday.
We won’t go, the boys from sludge snapped.
The courageous leaders of Our Town never blinked.
Without a trace of irony, the defeated Police Chief, glances at the outsmarted Mayor and said bravely, “Time is on our side.”
The Mayor, stumped as usual, smiles wanly and says, “Yeah. We won.” He really did.
That must be a line from Laurel and Hardy. Or they may be.
If anyone in City Hall possessed a thimble of organic guts, the ignorant Mayor and the pathetic Police Chief would be lying sprawled in a gutter this afternoon alongside Rick Neuheisel, wondering which one would be first to collect his unemployment check.
Golly, ma, I wish the Mayor or the Police Chief had been my daddy when I was growing up. They could have ordered me to do something, I would have said no, and heroically they would have pivoted to you, ma, and said “Time is on our side, Murgatroyd.”
