• By the darnedest coincidence of timing, Dave (I Am a Virgin, but Close Friends Call Me Virg) Petraeus resigned as major domo of the CIA five days before he was to testify to Congress about the vile White House lies encircling the Benghazi scandal. Hopefully, as Swishy’s steadily widening coverup over Benghazi sinks into wet, inscrutable mud, his chronic disingenuity will bring down his administration.
• By the darnedest coincidence of timing, President Obama claims he did not know a darned thing about the FBI’s exhaustive months-long investigation of Virg until Thursday, conveniently two days after he had been safely re-elected.
• By the darnedest coincidence of timing, Swishy spent the next 24 hours “agonizing,” according to his junior deputy intern valet, over whether to accept Virg’s proffered resignation. Heroically, he summoned his penultimate drop of courage and hollered, “Go for it, Virgie, for the good of the country.” Darn. In baseball, that is called a sacrifice fly.
He Imitates a Bird
• By the darnedest coincidence of timing, guess what out-of-town President reluctantly will put aside his distaste for governing – for the 58,000th time this coming weekend – take a left at North Vietnam and fly off to sexy, panting, meaningless Myanmar at the precise moment the Benghazi testimony is heating up back home where he would have had to explain his spectacular lies about his role in Benghazi. “Darn,” said the President as he exhaled. “Hate to miss them there hearings. Maybe I can borrow Mad Michelle’s VCR.”
Surely, dear reader, you do not suspect Swishy, a seasoned chameleon, of elaborately engineering a filthy web of conspiratorial lies about his “evolving” role in covering up the fatal Benghazi last Sept. 11 right down to this morning.
Hopefully, there will be enough will in spineless Wishy Washington to impeach the chronic liar and to remove him soon from office.
If they possess a trace of decency, the 59 million robots who voted for Swish last week because of his skin color are suffering pained buyer’s remorse.
Few seem to realize that “By the darnedest coincidence” is, by the darnedest coincidence, a cornerstone value of the contemporary Democrat party.
The Stench Is Spiraling
Sneakily, behind a sprawling shield of of mushy non-traditional principles, inexplicable, shattering events – like four gory murders of Americans in Benghazi – just happen, without beginning or end or justification.
The 9-hour al Qaeda siege of our Benghazi outposts struck, and agonizingly played out, before Swishy’s shifty eyes two months ago yesterday. For the past 60 days, Swishy has repeatedly lied about what he knew and when he knew it about.
That this man of no grace and even less class lied about four murdered Americans and now is ducking out of town to elude the waterfall of guilt that would drown him is reprehensible. Swishy’s sneaky role makes Watergate look as innocent as my first date with Judy Englert. At least Judy was pretty.
You think Virg Petraeus is a government embarrassment for, horrors, merely having an affair. Feh.
Virg’s indiscretion is a pimple on an elephant’s back.
Guess what the elephant’s name is? Ends in a vowel.
