[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak||no_popup[/img]I received an urgent phone call recently from a new client. He was giving a speech at a seminar in two days and he was nervous.
Because he suffered from panic and anxiety, his physician wanted him to take a Valium prior to his lecture to relax. My client didn’t want to. The medication clouded his thinking.
He was great when it came to doing things in his own way, he told me. But when he had to do the same thing in front of others, he became shaky, which affected what he was doing. His profession requires a steady hand, clear thinking under all pressure.
One personality clue he gave me — ultimately the resolution of his issue — was that he was fine one-on-one. In front of a group, he was not.
He turned out to be an emotionally sexual male. Shy, somewhat introverted, he was a clear, logical thinker. This type does not do well in crowds. One-on-one is his forte. His wife wanted him to be more outgoing, as she was. He had been led to believe his behavior was wrong, that more outgoing people were right. He felt inadequate because he could not be like the “others.”
Looking Inside
His dominant personality was that of the emotionally sexual male; his subdominant personality that of the physical sexual male (more outgoing). It was a matter of desensitizing him to his panic and anxiety, explaining that his quieter personality was not wrong. It was what it was. Neither outgoing or introverted is wrong. It was his personality, which he had learned from his father while growing up.
Believe it or not, we gain our personalities from the most dominant male figure in our lives while growing up, usually our father. This is true for sons and daughters. With this in mind, his issue was not a difficult to resolve.
He had set himself up for failure because his attitude was one of “I have to give a lecture” rather than the attitude of “I want to give a lecture.” I have said before I consider “have” a chore word, “want” a desire word.
First Step Toward Improvement
When he changed his thinking from “have” to “want,” his whole attitude began to change. He was in a unique position. In his profession, he was fortunate to make a profound difference in the lives of the people he helped. This was a gift because for anyone to be given the opportunity to really help a person and to make a difference in a life was rare, a gift to be treasured. To have the opportunity to help to create a profound change in others was something to be treasured. He thought it over and agreed.
I helped him see that he had been asked to lecture because the people who invited him wanted to learn from what he knew. They were not there to berate him but to listen and to learn from his outstanding experience. They would not be there unless they wanted to hear what he had to say.
When he arrived at his hotel, I suggested he take a few minutes to go to the area where he would be lecturing. Walk around, become comfortable with his new surroundings. Always it is better to know your surroundings so you will be at ease. That way he would not be walking into a strange environment. His familiarity would further help him to relax.
Creating a hypnotic state for him was a little difficult at first. He liked to be in control, to know exactly what was going to happen next. Never having experienced hypnosis, naturally he was nervous. With a little coaxing, he relaxed he relaxed and finally entered a reasonably good hypnotic trance.
While in hypnosis, I had him see himself confidently delivering his lecture to a warm, eager audience. I had him picture himself in front of the audience in a relaxed state of mind with all nervousness removed, seeing eager faces in front of him. I desensitized him to his nervousness, replacing it with a feeling of calm and confidence while giving his speech with the full authority his years of experience would allow.
I had him try to create a feeling of nervousness. He couldn’t, which told me that the Hypnosis was working.
Afterward, he felt better about giving the lecture, even was looking forward to it. The points we had discussed were truly resonating.
He decided to enjoy lecturing without his physician-prescribed meds. He understood himself better and his ability to create the enthusiasm he wanted to bring to his talks.
If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
