[img]958|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — I’m in the middle of unpacking from a move. I moved from a studio apartment, and my S.O. moved from a one-bedroom. Not huge places. It’s not like we each moved from huge houses or anything. Then where in the world, I ask, did all this stuff come from?
I’m sitting on my couch. I do some quick calculations.
Number of empty flattened boxes we gave to a friend in preparation for her move: 10
In the living room:
Number of empty medium boxes: 2
Number of empty small boxes: 7
Number of full medium boxes: 2
Number of full small boxes: 6
In the office:
Number of full small boxes: 14
In the kitchen:
2 full small boxes and a canvas bag filled with glassware
In the dining area:
4 full small boxes
In the hallway:
Full medium boxes: 3
Full small boxes: 7
Plastic file boxes, full: 2
Blue Rubbermaid totes, full: 5
Full trunk: 1
No boxes in the bathrooms or bedroom. I guess that’s where I drew the line. Have I mentioned we’ve been here a week? Somehow, I thought we’d be done unpacking by now. Ha, ha. The joke’s on me.
Most of the boxes we have are labeled, “Books.” We like books. I’ve been making it a point to really go through each and every book I take out of a box and decide if I’m really going to read it. I’m recycling the last of my college textbooks and books I know I won’t read. So far, I’ve made a pile of 26 books. Not bad.
Some of the labels on my boxes are ridiculous, and some just don’t make sense. There are a couple labeled, “Misc.” That’s helpful, huh? About 3 say, “Junk Drawer.” Uh oh. Two of them say, “Not Important.” One says, “Soft Things.” Here’s what was in that box: Fleece mittens, a couple of hats, a rubber duck, a scarf, about 4 Japanese cloth bags made out of kimono fabric, a felt Christmas tree skirt that I’ve been working on for about 5 years, a monkey puppet, and a teddy bear. Yep, soft things.
The box that gets the most chuckles is the one I labeled, “Not Books.” Who knows what’s in there. I think that when I packed it, I must have been so tired of packing books, I was happy to have one without them.
You find the darnedest things when you unpack all your stuff. I found a booklet entitled, “Preparing Your Baby’s Formula” for Baby Girl Hartnett (my birth surname). On April 26, my birthday, I weighed 4 lbs., 12 oz., and I was 17 inches long. On May 12, the date of my discharge, I weighed 5 lbs., 4 oz. Feedings for Similac liquid were scheduled for 2, 6, and 10, both a.m. and p.m.
I found a one-inch square piece of newspaper with a picture of a book I’ve been wanting, entitled Hip Hop Japan. In one of the desk drawer boxes was a fake gold statuette of George Washington. I was going to decorate it and give it to my dentist for being the best dentist ever. Yes, I packed it, and it survived the move. Also re-discovered: A box with decorations from my 40th birthday party 2 years ago.
S.O. has dictionaries, encyclopedias and college textbooks. About 5 typewriters, and I don’t even know how much computer stuff from the ‘80s and ‘90s. It’s not just me.
For now, I’m just unpacking and putting all the stuff in locations I think make sense. After that round is over, I’ll weed through it all. If I don’t sigh deeply and linger over an object, out it goes. Let’s hope I don’t need a paper bag for hyperventilation.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at her new address, snobbyblog@gmail.com
