[Editor’s Note: Catherine Yanda, one of our favorite watchdogs, reminds us that the California Citizens Redistricting Commission is holding a major community meeting seeking input, at City Hall this evening from 6 to 9. How ironic in view of what appears below.]
Here is a mathematical calculation that would have killed A. Einstein a second time after he already had keeled over:
As of the noon hour, there were 42,000 Democrats in the state Legislature, 3 Republicans, and you know whose fault it is that we lucky boobs don’t have a budget this afternoon?
Don’t smile.
The consarned Republicans.
Even a dead man would call that innovative psychobabble.
Without Republican support, the scared red-eyed rabbits known as Democrats pulled together a gimmick-laden budget by last night so they could meet the new voter-imposed June 15 deadline or face having their salaries stopped.
Forty-two thousand elected Democrats along with their pull-toy Frankenstein, Gov. Bald Retread, have been trying for six consecutive months to coerce Republicans into joining them in confiscating three fresh channels of taxation from Californians — vehicle, sales and income — so they can carry on their bloody campaign of wide-open junkets, social justice scams masquerading as a “safety net,” and junk-science projects. All the while the Dems and their mouthpieces in the media try to scare you by telling you “Boo. We will cut off funding of your schools.”
By 10:30 this morning, even Gov. Retread said the puerile calculations and incantations made him wish he was a seminarian again, without worldly responsibilities.
Mindful of the old Ted Cooke days in Culver City, though, the embarrassed Gov. Retread hunkered beneath his desk and scribbled the following press release that he handed to a toady who dashed across the crushed-velvet carpeting into the corridor and thrust it at the media toadies:
“Unfortunately, the budget I have received is not a balanced solution. It continues big deficits for years to come and adds billions of dollars of new debt. It also contains legally questionable maneuvers, costly borrowing and unrealistic savings. Finally, it is not financeable and therefore will not allow us to meet our obligations as they occur.”
A Skelton in the Closet
Essayist George (I Am Really Serious) Skelton, a chronically angry liberal, argued on Page 2 of the Los Angeles Titanic this morning that the tiny Republican minority is to blame for the present budget-less predicament, which means his single scoop of ice cream tumbled out of the cone into the gutter. As the Titanic’s nonsense editor, Mr. Skelton imaginatively said that Republicans are guilty of “abuse and misuse of their scarce power” by — to employ Mr. Skelton’s house-pet phrase, thwarting the will of the majority.
When I voted for Republicans last autumn, I slipped a shakily scrawled note into each candidate’s envelope — “Please roll over and play comatose whenever the left-wingers recommend something outrageous.” Golly, why would anyone thwart the will of the sinless Democrat majority, blessed as they are with lifelong rays of received wisdom radiating to and fro their golden bodies?
At least five times in each essay Mr. Skelton stamps his scuffed-up patent leathers and raps the knuckles of Republicans, even if there aren’t any in the room, just as Arabs blame all foul incidents around the world on Jews, even if there are none nearby. If Jews or Republicans didn’t do it, they would have if they had been here.
The Guilty Are Obvious, to the Majority
Only one group of Californians is more undesirable than Republicans, wrote Mr. Skelton, grappling for his inner feminine self.
Asks this erudite chronicler of the Democrat circus: Do you know why sinless, blameless Dems have failed for half-a-year in their pure-hearted pursuit of confiscatory new taxes? (Well, he was not quite that candid.)
You, you dummy, and me, too. That was his scholarly conclusion.
Employing the baloney term “legislators” as a euphemism for “Democrats,” Mr. Skelton says he has deduced why you and I are sitting here budget-less this afternoon while Gov. Retread is out shopping for a soft comb that won’t bloody his naked pate:
“Let’s put this in perspective: Legislators are confused and conflicted enough already because they represent, and basically reflect, the confused and conflicted voters who elected them.”
Murgatroyd, you fetch the sackcloth, I’ll find the ashes.
