When Eric (Ah Am Very Soft Inside) Garcetti, one of the midgets on the Los Angeles City Council, goes grocery shopping, like a magnet he darts straight to the grape jelly shelf.
Reminds Eric Baby of his knees.
As a staunch liberal, Mr. Garcetti turns away from his wife every night just before he falls to sleep and mutters 13 times – according to the politically inflexible liberal code, “Ah hate Wal-Mart and ah hate the Boy Scouts. Ah hate Wal-Mart and ah hate the Boy Scouts.”
His favorite pastry is a waffle because it is the way Mr. Garcetti has conducted his achievement-starved term on the City Council.
He considers himself a nose-twitching connoisseur of 99-cent wine. It rhymes with the body part he misses most when he has to make a decision – even at a signal light.
Mr. Garcetti’s latest boobism is to flounder like a cat with social rabies on the matter of Wal-Mart, dear, precious Wal-Mart.
Like all prominent gutless liberals, Mr. Garcetti long ago stepped into a vacant closet and took a pledge to publicly boo Wal-Mart as a sign of his enviable maturity. He doesn’t remember why he despises them, just that he was told to by his betters – which could have been any skid row bum.
As insecure as a rookie but as committed as an ex-con, Mr. Garcetti summoned his only known drop of courage on a June day and declared, by Toodles, he would not accept any donations from ooh, stinky-poo, soiled Wal-Mart during his campaign, heaven forbid, to be the next mayor of Los Angeles.
His typically liberal two-facedness sneaked into public view this week. The Los Angeles Titanic’s best reporter, David Zahniser, reported that Boob (Ah Never Said Ah Was Honest) Garcetti took a $100 donation from Wal-Mart’s director of community affairs.
Remember, liberals don’t get embarrassed.
When confronted, Bill Carrick, a longtime Southern California campaign aide, burped, patted his own back simultaneously with both hands and said:
The Boob Garcetti pledge applies just to corporate donations not to the dumb conservatives who work there.
Where do I sign up for this man’s army?
