Home OP-ED Beg, Meg, Beg, Girl, the Titanic Growls at Whitman

Beg, Meg, Beg, Girl, the Titanic Growls at Whitman

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How old must I grow before I become convinced that, if you will forgive the modest witticism, subtleties, no matter how obvious, consistently elude our friends on the left.

The lead editorial in this morning’s Los Angeles Titanic, “Illogical on immigration,” is even more convoluted than their boy’s campaign to re-governor himself.

In issuing the newspaper’s daily spanking to Meg Whitman, Jerry Brown’s Republican rival, the tortured Titanic swallowed a bag of rubber marbles, placed an equal number in each cheek, and proceeded to argue with a straight face that Ms. Whitman’s immigration posture made no sense.

Before proceeding, the Titanic has faithfully, guilelessly, recorded every burp and charge issued by the nasty Gloria (This Is My Best Side, Boys) Allred since last Wednesday when she brought a little red wagon bearing an overweight illegal alien to the first of about 15 press conferences.

My Mommy? Nah

In a week’s worth of reporting with a heavy accent on commentary, the Titanic has reacted to this phony story as if it were a 10-year-old girl who caught Mommy passionately kissing the milkman.

Since Ms. Whitman, uniformly described by lawyers from around the planet as blameless in the matter, is a Republican, the Titanic has rapped her each day since with both fists closed.

The Brown campaign, you may know, put the groveling Ms. Allred onto the story in the first place, it has been established. You have not and will not read that in any edition of the Titanic until, perhaps, after Election Day. That tidbit should have halted naivé reporting on this trumped-up fairy tale.

Ms. Whitman followed the law scrupulously, promptly severing ties with Ms. Allred’s latest pulltoy as soon as she learned of her illegal status.

Without undertaking even the weakest investigation into matters, the Titanic — at the risk of being redundant — dipped into echo chamber mode. Their star boy essayists, the unimaginative Steve Lopez and Tim (Me, Too) Rutten stuck out their tongues at Ms. Whitman, maturely mocking her, reprising their familiar role of recording secretaries, as they do whenever the left heaves a charge at conservatives.

Well, Uh, We Were Wrong

Finally this morning, however, in the first sentence of the sheepishly crafted editorial, the Titanic sort of admitted what was obvious to sensible people from the first day, that the illegal alien lied to the employment agency and to Ms. Whitman for nine years. Ms. Whitman reacted exactly as an upstanding citizen should.

Or, as the San Francisco Chronicle put it:

Lawyers said an employer’s obligation upon receiving a no-match letter from the Social Security Administration is to check their own records for typographical or other errors, inform the employee that the records do not match and tell the employee to correct them.

“There is no additional legal obligation for an employer to follow up or respond to SSA with new information,” said Gening Liao, a labor and employment attorney at the National Immigration Law Center in Los Angeles, which defends immigrants.

Since the Titanic belatedly was absolving Ms. Whitman of the Brown-spawned smear after six straight days of incurious reporting, the newspaper needed a reason to keep spanking her. By golly, they found it.

The bully boys lashed at her for being two-faced by saying on the stump that government should crack down on employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens while she, herself. Employed one for nine years. Only the perspicacious Titanic cleverly managed to leave out “knowingly.”

There is a huge difference, boys, between a private citizen who was calculatedly scammed by an illegal alien and a business that deliberately recruits illegal aliens.

But that is a subtlety. And the left’s history demonstrates that it loathes subtleties.

In passing, the newspaper also scolded Ms. Whitman for criticizing sanctuary cities, communities where leftist extremists flaunt the law and hide illegal aliens.

My, what a nice political family the Titanic comes from.