I received a frantic call from a real estate agent experiencing “a deep sadness” after breaking up with her boyfriend of eight years. Unfocused, she could not take her mind off him.
I told her I have helped many with similar issues.
Separately, I met a lady having problems making her relationships last more than 90 days. Both issues are related. My clients were displaying the same behaviors.
I classify behaviors into two groups. One is Physical. A Physical’s priorities are family No. 1, activities involving other people No. 2, and work is No. 3. The ranking does not mean person doesn’t like work. But if a family member became ill, the Physical would take the time off of work to care for the relative.
A Physical goes through life on feelings. Physicals are body-oriented, slow to fall into a new relationship, usually dating the same person several times before feeling the new partner is right. Only then will Physicals allow themselves to be intimate. Generally it is just a touch that is needed to stimulate a Physical. They are giving during the sex act. They would like to repeat it often. Usually for Physicals, the sex act is the way they feel the loved. To a Physical, interaction is the most important step. Physicals love to stay in bed and cuddle after sex.
The Other Direction
The opposite is an Emotional. Cool, detached, logical sometimes distant, aloof. An Emotional has different priorities, ranking them this way: work, individual-type activities, family. An Emotional would not take time from work to look after a family member. He or she likes rock climbing, solo hiking, flying, horseback or motorcycle riding. An Emotional does not like to have sex as often as a Physical. Every three days is fine, only if there is mental stimulation first. Unlike the Physical who is turned on by touch, an Emotional must see what he wants to happen mentally first before there is a bodily reaction. Crucially, everyone is generally a mixture of both, one being dominant.
Back to my cases. The two ladies are Physicals because they are physically feeling the pain of separation. This is far more common among Physicals than Emotionals. The Emotional will end the relationship with the Physical. Usually the relationship’s honeymoon period lasts three months. Then one’s true physical or emotional behavior comes to the fore. Then problems begin. An immutable law of nature holds that opposites attract. The very opposites that attracted them now cause them to back away before ultimately breaking up.
The End Is Near
At first the Physical hold back sex. When they decide to have sex, a dam bursts, fairly explodes. While a Physical wants sex as often as possible, an Emotional is happy to accommodate during the honeymoon period. As time passes, though, he or she wants sex less often.
It is in this area that relationships usually end. The Physical wants more sex. The Physical continually demands sex. The Emotional becomes upset. Sex is perceived by the Physical as the only proof of love.
The Emotional shows love by buying expensive gifts. Emotionals work longer hours to pay for the gifts, which means less time at home, further alienation.
Both of my clients underwent the same issue of being involved with Emotionals. They never felt loved.
Hypnosis and time resolved their issues. They learned about physical and emotional behaviors, discovered which was within them and began to put out the kinds of behaviors that will ultimately attract the right kind of partner.
Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
