There are two times each year where we tend to re-evaluate our lives, our birthday and at year’s end.
This is especially true as we get older.
With me it is the perfect storm. My birthday is at year end, and I am old enough where AARP has stopped sending me information. So in re-evaluating my life, I find myself trying to answer a question that I am asked, usually by grandchildren.
That question is, Do I like being old?
As the years have gone by, my belt has grown longer and my forehead taller. But I would never trade my life, with my loving family and wonderful friends, for a fuller head of hair or a flatter stomach.
As I've grown older, I've become less critical of myself. I don't scold myself for eating something that I shouldn’t. I am entitled to a treat. I don't scold myself for buying something that I didn't need. I am entitled to be extravagant every now and then.
I have seen too many friends leave this world before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
I will hike on a trail in Yosemite wearing jeans and an old T-shirt. If I choose, I will stop and rest, despite the pitying glances from the younger hikers of the Starbuck’s set. I will just smile because they, too, will get old and sit on the side of a trail to rest.
In Two Words, So What?
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there some things in life that are just as well forgotten. I remember the important things, my family and friends.
There has been sorrow in my life. Who hasn’t experienced the loss of a family member, a good friend, or even the family pet?
But life is like a pendulum. If you don’t experience sorrow, you can’t experience joy, like the birth of a child or grandchild. It is sorrow that gives you compassion and understanding. A person that hasn’t experienced sorrow will be cold and unemotional, like Mr. Spock from Star Trek.
You can even find good in misfortunes. A little over a year ago I broke my wrist and was off work for six weeks. But this accident showed me what a good family and friends I have. I also received support from my co-workers and the doctor who put my wrist back together the way a pre-teen boy would assemble a plastic airplane model.
Because of my fractured wrist, I also met the young ladies at Santa Monica Hand Therapy who bent my fingers and wrist farther than my fingers and wrist wanted to bend. And thanks to their help, my left wrist is almost normal. And with me, almost normal is about as good as it is going to get.
Dr. Janet Hoult, in her book of poems, Body Parts, implies that as we age, we begin to have problems with one body part at a time. I would guess that there must be some truth in this. I have more doctors today than I did 30 years ago, and they all specialize in different body parts.
I said my forehead is getting taller, but I am blessed to have lived long enough to have started losing my hair. So many people die before they can lose their hair. My face may be etched with wrinkles and ruts, but these are the result of laughing and smiling. So many people have never laughed or smiled.
Aging Gracefully
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer the question, I like being old. I like the person I have become.
I know that I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time worrying what could have been or what will be.
When you re-evaluate your life this year, smile and say to yourself:
It is pretty good.
Then, years from now, when you are older, you will look in a mirror and see the wrinkles and ruts caused by your smiles and laughter. You will smile again because these wrinkles and ruts will be a reminder of the good times in your life.
Have a happy new year.
Mr. Supple may be contacted at
tomjsup@ca.rr.com
