[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak||no_popup[/img]Ever had one of those days when you wake up feeling relaxed, rested, calm and happy?
There is a distinct difference in one’s internal feeling when experiencing one of those rare moments of serenity. Serenity comes when you feel all is right with you and your relationship with the world.
Alcoholics have a difficult time attaining this calm. Chaos and drama, created by their behavior, define their lives.
A person’s behaviors generally are learned by the ages of 12 to 14. If raised in a chaotic environment, the lifestyle likely is to continue because you will believe that was how life was meant to be. Accustomed to high drama, any kind of peace will make the person uncomfortable. Why?
We become used to our behaviors.
The Alcoholics Anonymous organization has a prayer that all recovering alcoholics say:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
A profound key to recovery lies within the prayer. Accepting that we are a certain way, letting go of our control and negative behaviors, and, believing there is a power greater than ourselves who will help us.
Those of us who accept the prayer as a starting point to serenity also must begin to accept the notion a great deal is outside of our control. We need to turn over those areas to a higher power.
Surrender Has a Sunny Side
A desire to control everything, though, will only create negativism and frustration. Control is one of the hardest issues for an alcoholic to surrender.
Difficult, though, as giving in may be, once started, recovery can be swift. There follows, with a flow, an acceptance that things will work out. One must accept he is not the be-all and end-all of his life or of others’ lives.
It is said we believe that we are the pilot. I contend, however, that we are only the co-pilot.
Say you have planned your busy schedule for the day when a family emergency occurs. Despite elaborate planning, other factors stopped you.
An alcoholic would be frustrated because he had lost the control. One who has accepted serenity, believing life does not always go as planned, will begin to work around the inconveniences.
Although I am emphasizing alcoholics, many issues are common to you and me.
Even without alcohol, you may be a controlling person, and the serenity prayer will be as important to you as to a recovering alcoholic. Letting go and acceptance are tools for life, not an excuse to do nothing when a day does not go your way.
My wife and I recently talked about serenity.
Actively employed with the same company for 30 years when she retired, at first, she wanted to be busy all the time. Otherwise, she felt unproductive. Weeks later, though, she began to reduce her daily tasks. Soon enough, she was bored. After all, she had held a high-pressure position with a network news division, and she was rushing all day.
I suggested to her that what she thought was boredom actually was serenity, something she had not experienced for years. She got it. When she feels bored these days, she recognizes that it is serenity. She enjoys those moments when nothing needs to be accomplished.
May you discover the serenity that will help you to enjoy each day.
A clinical hypnotherapist, handwriting analyst and expert master hypnotist, Nicholas Pollak may be contacted at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net
