Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America — and Found Unexpected Peace. By William Lobdell. (HarperCollins, New York), 2/09, $25.99.
When a religion reporter for a major American metropolitan daily confessed that during nearly a decade of covering religious news he lost his own faith, that event became something well worth writing about — precisely what former Los Angeles Times columnist and award-winning journalist William Lobdell has accomplished in this candid and forthright autobiographical account of his retreat from belief.
His journey from faith to unbelief differs from other deconversion chronicles because, unlike men of the cloth who forsake their vows after years of ministering to others, Lobdell was just an ordinary lay believer.
Brought up in the Episcopal church, he stopped going at age 17. But then in his late 20s, he decided to attend a nondenominational church. Immersing himself in Christian teachings, he joined the ranks of the “born again.”
When he was hired by the Los Angeles Times for their religion beat, the events of the next eight years would gradually erode his faith to the point of deciding that God was no longer necessary in his life.
Of the hundreds of stories that he profiled during that time, some chipped away at his belief system much more aggressively than others. The Catholic church child abuse scandal in general, and the case of one priest in Alaska molesting 70 victims in particular, had tremendous impact on his now-wavering orthodoxy.
Attitude Was Influential
The attitude of the Catholic hierarchy's much greater concern for the welfare of the clergy than for the damage done to the victims themselves also caused him to harbor grave concerns fueled by the huge fallout from the massive coverup. The existence of a vast network of sexual abuse survivors easily enabled this interviewer to connect with them and to hear firsthand their often horrific descriptions of sexual violation or impregnation.
An eye-opening revelation came from attending an ex-Mormon conference held to coincide with the General Conference of the faithful who venomously condemned and rejected any criticism from those apostates who had left the fold.
The ex-Mormons warmly welcomed a journalist in their midst for they were quite eager to share their stories of rejection, alienation, humiliation and financial loss once they left the Mother Church behind.
Another investigative assignment took him to the faith healer Benny Hinn who lured the desperately infirm with promises of miraculous cures. Yet, the reporter found that no serious conditions were ever healed and that minor “cures” could logically be attributed to a placebo-like effect.
Why He Focuses on the Present
His reportage on the Trinity Broadcasting System, which had suppressed numerous sexual and fiscal irregularities, exposed this beacon of Christian values to be a hollow and money-hungry institution, even greedier and more corrupt than any Wall Street enterprise.
But the real turning point in his transformation occurred when the writer and his wife Greer went to see Julia Sweeney's one-woman show “Letting Go of God.”
Greer's own serious misgivings about her indoctrination had intensified considerably the moment her local parish priest told her she was an adulteress living in sin because she had married outside the Church and wed a non-Catholic. So this first-person drama had special resonance and poignancy with them both because Julia had been a cradle Catholic just like Greer and Bill had enrolled in Catholic catechism classes in order to convert so that they could enter into a union recognized and blessed by the Church.
However, his arduous course work elicited many uncertainties about Catholic doctrine. Julia Sweeney effectively demonstrated how to reject it all as the best path to self-liberation.
He currently labels himself a reluctant atheist who steadfastly eschews affiliation with any freethought groups that constitute the atheist activist movement. He characterizes Dawkins, Harris and Hitchens as an ungodly trio that has supplanted the Christian Trinity with the missionary fervor of secular fundamentalism sometimes equal to the most evangelical outlook and every bit as intolerant and dismissive of alternative views.
Fast approaching 50, the author now cheerfully embraces a secular, rationalist perspective as he tersely appraises his newfound freedom:
“I don't have eternity to fall back on, so my focus on the present has sharpened.”
Mr. Akerley, who lives in Culver City, may be contacted at benakerley@aol.com
