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Orthopedist Observations

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[img]958|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — Cholesterol update:

[img]1304|left|||no_popup[/img]Had my fasting blood test, and the numbers changed. The good ones went bad, the bad ones went good. Go figure. My doctor said not to worry because I had no risk factors for having a heart attack. So guess what? I’m not going to worry; I’ll just move on to the next procedure, which I had this week—a visit to the orthopedist, to look at my feet.

My regular readers know of my fondness for specialists. I’ll say it again—it’s a chance for you to talk to a doctor about one specific part of your body, in detail! How fantastic is that? I don’t make appointments to see specialists without reason; something has to be bothering me. In this case, it was the toes on my left foot. One toe likes to go under the other one. Sometimes it hurts. When I asked my primary care doctor about it, (the one who told me not to worry about my cholesterol), she looked at my feet and said, “Yeah, and you have bunions.” Bunions? She said the “S” word, “surgery”, and referred me to the orthopedist. I couldn’t get there fast enough.

What About Her Hair?

I went to get X-rays of my feet first. I remembered the X-ray technician from years ago. I actually recognized her by her ‘80s rock star hairstyle, but all I said to her was, “I remember you. You’ve been here a long time.” “Nineteen years!” she replied. I just smiled. I wondered if she played guitar during her off hours.

After my X-rays, I was taken in to see the doctor. He introduced himself and asked why I was there. I explained my toe problem. He looked at my toes, then brought up my X-rays on the computer. Fascinating. Imagine, a picture of the inside of your foot. I’m amazed by X-rays. He showed me a model of a foot’s bones and compared it with my feet. He explained that in a “perfect” foot, like the model, the bones were parallel and straight. Mine tended to curve a little, especially the one in question. The top part of the bone wasn’t straight at all, just pop, bent to the right.

Whose Fault Is It?

I asked why. He said that’s the way God made me. It had nothing to do with ill-fitting shoes; it was simply the way I was. He said the way my bones were curved was very mild. Nothing could be done about it. No surgery necessary. He repeated that it was how God made me, and I said, “So it’s all about God.” He walked out of the room, saying, “It’s hereditary. Let me show you something.”

He came back in with someone else’s X-rays. He had operated on a woman who had a toe like mine, only a little worse. She had no pain, but she didn’t like the way her feet looked. The doctor told her she didn’t need surgery, but she insisted, so he did it. He cut off part of her bone and stuck a pin in her toe, which would remain there for four weeks. He said that when he took the pin out, the toe might stay straight, and it might not. She’d be laid up for three months, with no guarantee that the surgery would fix her problem. He left again to get another set of X-rays. This person’s feet were a lot worse than mine. He said, “You think you’ve got problems? Look at this.” I told him I got the message.

I asked what I could do. He told me to get good shoes. I showed him the Dansko clogs I was wearing. He nodded his approval. He said, “Some people like to wear those high-fashion heeled shoes…” I cut him off, telling him that I never wore heels because they hurt. Besides, they were stupid anyway. He continued to explain how your toes get all bunched up when you wear “high-fashion shoes,” and there was a lot of pressure and weight on your feet. He said that I would have to try fifteen pairs of shoes to really find ones that felt good, and to just keep trying.

I thanked him, and we wished each other a Happy New Year. I went straight home and got rid of any shoes that had bothered me in the past few years, including the black patent leather heels I wore for two hours during my 40th birthday party three years ago. Thank goodness, I’d already been planning on wearing sneakers on my wedding day.

Ms. Campbell may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com