If Democrats can convince sleepy-eyed liberal voters that two months of tax cuts is more advantageous than 12 months, the two oldest journalistic eyes in Sacramento should be able to sell us on the latest imaginative concept, that Gov. Flat Tire, an admitted failure, is a successful failure, as George Porgy Skelton did on Page 2 of the Los Angeles Titanic yesterday.
Sort of like The Joke Who Became President telling us last April that he was only “kind of” invading Libya because he was “leading from behind.”
Politicians and their jelly doughnut sycophants in the media have been making such idiotic statements since the first government was formed. In modern American history, though, there always has been a formidable counterweight in the media, a necessary force characterized by objective news reporting. This most crucial element in a democratic society virtually disappeared after Swishy’s election three sad years ago.
The New York Times and the Titanic no longer pretend to be fair-minded non-partisan purveyors of news. Since the Republican campaign heated up last summer, they have hooked both thumbs into their ears and wiggled their fingers at their unfortunate readers for five straight months.
If a reasonable, independent man carefully perused these journals daily for the past 150 days, he only could conclude that he would need to be a nincompoop if he voted for these radical, irresponsible yahoos.
The Times has run a Republican candidate hit piece on Page 1 every day for months. The Titanic has not quite matched the pace. Nevertheless, every story on a Republican candidate has been negative while more than 99 percent of its Obama stories have been favorable. Their mamas didn’t raise no dummies. They don’t want to be labeled racists by the black Klansman who is our esteemed Attorney General, E.T. Holder-Dropper.
The other half of the Times-Titanic equation for next November is that the young man in the White House has steered a nearly unassailable course. Sculptors of history are going to be forced to scratch Teddy Roosevelt’s mug from Mt. Rushmore and, instead, pencil in B.H. Obama.
We Should Be Overwhelmed
Count his achievements:
• After he is safely re-elected in a little more than 10 months, every American will be forced to buy health insurance, whether he wants/needs it or not.
• After he is safely re-elected, numerous channels of taxation will be activated.
• After he is safely re-elected, an almost uncountable number of green-related regulations will take effect, spanning the country like a giant umbrella with knife-edged talons. They will paralyze businesses and fiscally endanger families.
But who cares as long as The Man wins a new term. Then he will be free to act as he chooses.
After the Obama campaign blabbed the bizarre boast last March that Swishy, who simultaneously sits at the right and left hands of God, would be the first candidate in the history of the world to raise $1 billion for his re-election campaign. The anti-New Math crowd on the left plunged into Oops mode. Sickened, they realized this was like packing a ticking bomb in your wallet.
We Spend But We Are Nice
Even though Swishy and Mad Michelle are the most extravagant spenders on ostentatious junk the White House has seen, the David Axelrod team realized it was not cool to wave this billion braggadocio under the noses of the peasants, where Republicans could read it. After Swish has bragged for four years about his thriftiness, even liberals could deduce that Swishy is taking most of his campaign bribes from the Wall Street whom he phonily excoriates at five minutes before every hour.
Time to execute an emergency reversal of direction.
Almost immediately, a smart person inside Swish-and-Sway’s headquarters realized this was as dumb of a brag as a married man claiming how many women he has seduced in the last six months. Any national reporter who mentions it now is off the campaign flights until 2016.
Meanwhile, as our country wallows and wobbles, Swish (Ain’t My Fault, Dude) Obama sails past his 100th fundraiser since last April. “We are all right, all right,” he says. “It’s not my fault,” he adds as the ship of state threatens to capsize.
