[img]958|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — Last week I had my annual physical. My doctor wanted to check my cholesterol because it had been 5 years since my last cholesterol test. We weren’t concerned; my cholesterol has always been in the normal ranges. When I went to the lab, the phlebotomist asked me if this was a fasting blood test. I had no idea what that meant. No, I hadn’t fasted — my doctor just told me to go upstairs and give some blood.
I joked with her. I said, “Can what you’ve just eaten really affect a cholesterol test? Like if I had a cheeseburger and fries for lunch, would it be high? Not that I had that for lunch, ha ha!” And I hadn’t. For real. The woman laughed and asked me all about my tattoos.
The next day, I got my results. Guess what? Two of my levels were flagged for being borderline high! Overall cholesterol is supposed to be between 0 and 199; less than 200 is desirable. Five years ago my overall was 151. Last week? 213! My LDL (bad) cholesterol was near optimal. My HDL (good) cholesterol was good. My triglycerides, however, were flagged. The range is 0-149. Mine was 151.
I freaked out when I saw my results. What did they mean? Was it the cinnamon rolls I’ve been eating once a month because I now have an oven and 2 teenage boys? The egg I have every morning? Heredity? Do I need Lipitor? I immediately got out my book by Dr. Oz, Oprah Winfrey’s health guru. I flipped to the recipe for oatmeal. I made it twice last week, complete with skim milk, dried prunes, plums, almonds, maple syrup, and cinnamon. Time to get heart healthy.
My friends asked me what I had had for breakfast and lunch on the day of the test. I suddenly couldn’t remember. After talking to a few people, I learned that having a fasting blood test is more accurate; I made an appointment to have one. I was instructed to stop eating after 8 p.m. No food, tea or coffee the next morning, just water. I left notes for myself so that I wouldn’t slip and munch on a piece of toast before my test.
The morning of my test, I had to call the office to make sure the lab was set up. I didn’t eat or drink anything except for water, and was all set when the lab opened at 8. Normally I eat around 7, so waiting till after 8 didn’t seem too bad. When I called the lab, I found out that my doctor had not ordered the lab yet, but someone would call me when she had.
I went to work, wondering if I should eat the breakfast I had prepared or wait until they called me so I could go in. I waited as long as I could, but I knew it was time to eat when I started tossing nasty comments at my co-worker. By then I had started to get a headache, and I was really sleepy. A few people asked me if I was okay. I scarfed down my breakfast, and an hour later my doctor’s office called to say the lab request was in. Too late —my breakfast was in me, as was a horrible half cup of tea. My morning routine was all out of sync, and it threw me off all day. I knew I’d have to repeat the whole procedure the next day. Hopefully I’d be eating sooner than 9, and this time I’d bring my own tea to work. Thank goodness my co-worker doesn’t take many things personally.
Next week: Find out my results.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com
