If you were not in the mood before for the holiday, the following Thanksgiving pearls collected by Greg Roberts of the Brentwood Capital Group will help:
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary:
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
Emma Bombeck:
Thanksgiving dinner takes 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Halftime takes 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Jon Stewart: I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Johnny Carson: Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is ‘way too often.
Anonymous:
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious.
And your pies take the prize
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs.
You may thank Mr. Roberts at gregoryroberts.com
