Home OP-ED Plasticity Time: Did All Adults Leave the Room?

Plasticity Time: Did All Adults Leave the Room?

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Except for the fact quite nice people are involved, I find it challenging to retain a straight face when discussing a ban on plastic bags — are you serious? — with a fellow adult.

A divided state Supreme Court ruled yesterday, after three years of litigation, that Manhattan Beach indeed may ban plastic bags without conducting a full-blown environmental impact report.

The law and the ruling are difficult for to accept.

Based on the ruling, if no EIR is required, the Manhattan Beach law, which has become fashionable among the fad-minded — Santa Monica, San Jose, Malibu, Marin County, Calabasas and that old standby Long Beach — can be imposed without any proof that plastic bags are damaging the environment.

A few months ago, I listened to a sober presentation by utterly sincere people about how horrible it is for us punchless victims if plastic bags blow into the ocean and injure the fishies.

Dead dogs and ailing mules probably would affect fishies the same way.

Surely the people promoting this ballast-free notion need to spend more time with newspapers and other media to put their energetic talents to more pragmatic use.

If a dead human body is dumped into the sea, guppies and their big brothers potentially could choke to death on wilted skin, couldn’t they?

Do you people huddle in a lightless closet every night at midnight and take turns thinking up kneeslappers?

How can environmentalists ever be taken as more than silly and vacant when these amazing busybodies are disrupting our lives with puerile nonsense?

The nutty Supreme Court Justice who wrote the majority opinion, Carol A. Corrigan, who may be an old bag but not a plastic one, launched a couple of dandies yesterday that will keep the boys down at the grain elevator chuckling until the first frost:

“Substantial evidence and common sense support the city’s determination that its ordinance would have no significant environmental effect.”

With that kind of balmy thinking, Carol, baby, can help Swishy Obama raise the debt ceiling.

(To be continued)