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Left Is Right — It Says So Here

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I want to be in the room the next time major cerebral surgery is performed on a liberal brain in this town — surely it will be more fun than watching the immensely entertaining “Midnight in Paris” for a second time.

The ineluctable gullibility of liberals is so bearded lady-like that it would draw a street-corner crowd even in an abandoned town. Generally, liberals are not serious people though there are notable exceptions.

Liberals and their media outlets notoriously lack curiosity or skepticism if one of their kind issues a bizarre verdict. (I give you the California Legislature.)

How Time Skids Away

If a liberal politician declared that today were Thursday not Monday, the girls down at the Los Angeles Titanic would shake their wooly heads in the affirmative. Not a doubt that he was right.

Gov. Bald Retread, a hysterical truth-twister — Steve Gourley, are you listening?— says he wants new taxes so he can spend more money. Pronto, the girls down at the Titanic line up behind him so fast that three of the sissyhearted are trampled to death.

Which takes us to a black one-week anniversary.

Last Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court ordered California to fling open the doors of its 33 prisons and to tell more than 25 percent of these monsters, “Be gone. We never want to see you again.”

Forty-six thousand bad boys.

The almost astounding central reason, according to the bipolar author of the ruling, Justice Anthony Kennedy: “The mental and medical healthcare provided by the state of California falls below the standards of decency.”

He does not tell us how he knows this, which is virtually indistinct from saying all boys 20 years old in San Pedro are gangbangers. Or faith in global warming.

After scrutinizing the Kennedy motivation, the Titanic yawned, swiftly closed one eye and fell back asleep. That was the clinching clue that the hard left wing of the Supreme Court was at the bottom of this freakish reasoning.

Oh, Really?

Speaking for the normal wing, Justice Antonin Scalia properly called the all-liberal 5 to 4 verdict “absurd.”

Four days later when the only newspaper in Los Angeles finally got around to commenting on this earthquake-level development, the Titanic editorial writers still were yawning. Must be fumes from those classy saloons around 2nd and Spring.

Sagaciously, the Titanic girls double-stroked their double chins and offered a confusing, conflicting, convoluted labyrinth of puffery excuses for the ruling that only an environmentalist could guilelessly swallow without choking.

Nothing to worry about, the Titanic said. Sure such a mass release is wildly unprecedented, but hey, baby, crime is down. Haven’t you heard?

Don’t ask what that has to do with spilling this largely human garbage onto our already dangerous streets.

Ignoring Justice Kennedy’s critical citation, the Titanic’s editorial mis-stated the number of criminals about to be turned out by 13,000 — are you listening Mr. Gourley? — and concluded Californians have nothing to worry about.

They went off on multiple tangents about arcane criminal topics that were intended to distract readers from fretting about 46,000 of the worst people on earth soon to be shooting up our dark and shadowy streets, schoolgrounds and other vulnerable places.

Sure there has been an overcrowding problem, the Titanic conceded, but crime has been declining and so have the state’s prison populations. Besides, the liberals on the Court made the call so they must be right You know how extreme the Court conservatives are.