Home OP-ED Why Would You Believe a Salesman?

Why Would You Believe a Salesman?

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In his 9th year of selling snake oil to the most gullible, least sophisticated Californians, Democrat voters, the coarse Jerry Brown is still flying and his faithful rubes are still groveling.

Right here in Culver City, they truly believe that if vague but awesome new taxes are not immediately imposed, school buildings will fall down, teachers will be kidnapped by Martians, and all students will have to be bussed to Mississippi for an authentic education.

Children, children.

Does it feel that good to be manipulated?

Surely you understand Gov. Snake Oil is twirling his villainous moustache and giggling at your naiveté when you turn your back.

You must have gone to school during the first reign of Snake Oil in the state house? Or, worse, when his daddy was Gov (see, just like the Assads in Syria)?

Snake returned to office needing two Republican votes in each legislative chamber to push through what he calls desperately needed tax hikes in several categories — he calls them “extensions.” Less than a week before April Fool’s Day, named in his honor, he still needs two votes in each chamber. What a salesman.

Think this through with me.

Snake Oil’s devious tactics have been arrayed on the butcher’s table since the day he re-Governored himself the first week of January, and Democrats don’t even blink.

• Twenty-six billion-dollar deficit.

• He proposes cutting spending $12.5 billion.

• Slickly, he also proposes $12.5 billion in “old” taxes. Old? For the rubes in the crowd, Snake Oil says that if he renews billions in taxes that are due to expire July 1, those are old taxes not new ones.

Oh.

He should slice all $26 billion from spending, but he lacks the courage and willpower. That would necessitate tapping the pension funds of union goons who have been vacationing this season in Ohio, Michigan, Indiana and Wisconsin.

You know how nettled sensitive union goons get when their feeding time is changed.

Slow on the Uptake

Snake Oil is engineering a ploy, Democrats, so that the bloodthirsty left-wing tax-and-spend — wheeeee — legislators in Sacramento can go on blowing your tax money and mine on All God’s Children Are Victims programs. Meanwhile, they fatten their lives with junkets and start-up money from, for example, the pipe-dream California high speed rail project.

If we cut one dollar more without authorizing new taxes, slick-tongued, heavily underworked legislators l tell the hoi polloi, normal life will be snapped away from you. The scare clicks in every time. They tell gullible school people without new taxes every teacher in the state will be forced to turn to beggary three days a week.

And the reliable hoi polloi shake their heads as one and say, “Right-o, Snake Oil. Spank us again.”

As for Snake, like an unrepentant leech or a dog darting for a bone, he immediately zeros in on the largest and most vulnerable of his blind loyalists, the lower middle class.

What a Kind Crook

Calculatedly, he slashes their government services first. That way, they will howl that taxes should be raised so they can go back on unemployment

And his hayseed chorus all over California rises to cheer Snake Oil’s brilliant conceptualizing.

Is anyone listening?

Snake Oil says “I’m gonna stick you up” and you say “thank you”?

Snake Oil has one greasy hand in each of your hip pockets. Instead of suffering a common sense reaction and resisting, you shout to Sacramento in your most stentorian tones: “Lordy, Lordy, my generous master, take more and more of my money because, by jingo, it is my civic duty.”

And you wonder why asylums are taxed to their capacities?

Here it is, in bald language, direct from Snake Oil’s unpaid journalistic pimps in this morning’s edition of the Los Angeles Titanic:

Opening sentence:

“Gov. Jerry Brown signed into law billions of dollars in budget cuts Thursday that will mean fewer government services, particularly for the old, the sick and the poor.”

Ah, the poor, the sick and the old.

But, boys, the left tells us that only meanie Republicans are beating up on the poor, the sick and the old. What’s up, Snake Oil? Misread the script.

Finally, there is this precious line that Snake feeds to California Democrats, and they trample each other hollering, “Yowza! Yowza! We believe.”

Here is the funny line, direct from the Titanic:

“It’s going to be much, much worse if we cannot get the vote of the people and the tax extensions,” Brown said.

Your move, Buford.