Well, this evening at the yoga class, I almost touched my forehead to my raised knee while lying on my mat. I was inches away. I thought, “If I DO touch my head to my knee, I’m going to let out a cry such as ‘Yahoo!’”
On the way to the car, after the class, I mentioned this fact to my wife, with whom I share the yoga room. She said something like “You’d better NOT yell out in the yoga room.”
What had I done? If I HADN’T told my wife that I would like to yell out, and then I touched my head to my knee, and DID yell out, well, then she would not have been able to chastise me. Why? Because she had not warned me ahead of time. Sure, she might have said, “I wish you hadn’t done that!” BUT, since I told her what I was “planning” to do and she then gave me a “warning” not to do it, I would certainly catch her ire if I carried through with my “plan.”
Have you said things to people that made them say things back to you, that made you wish you hadn’t said what you said?
So, do you say what you WANT to say? Or do you say what you think people will LIKE to hear? Or do you say nothing at all — because you fear what they will say back to you?
IF you say what you want to say — you feel good, AND you might get in “trouble.”
IF you say what you think they want to hear — you feel dishonest AND you will probably not get in “trouble.”
IF you say nothing at all — you feel less than self-actualized, AND you will very likely not get in “trouble.”
It’s a balancing act: how you feel vs. the likelihood of getting into “trouble.”
I suppose we each have to decide by weighing the pluses and minuses. When my head finally does get to touch my knee, I think I’ll just sneeze really loudly on purpose — my “Achooo” will be my “Yahoo.” Uh-oh, my wife reads these essays!
Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com
