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How Much Chicken? A Problem Solved

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I enjoy smoking chickens on my Brinkman smoker. Actually, I enjoy eating those chickens even more than I enjoy cooking them. Often, I smoke 6 chickens at a time — three on the top rack, three on the lower rack. Broken down into legs, thighs and half-breasts, that’s six pieces per chicken, 36 pieces for all six chickens. I can always freeze the chickens and chicken pieces we don’t eat.

When my wife and I are dining alone, it is no problem. If there are not enough chicken pieces on the serving plate, I feel comfortable going back to the kitchen for extra helpings.

The problem occurred when we had guests for dinner. Here’s what happened.

The platter with the chicken got passed around the table. I imagined that each of the, say, eight guests, might like to eat three pieces of delicious chicken. But there are only sixteen pieces of chicken on the platter. When the platter got to me, I thought: “Oh, golly! There are now eleven pieces of chicken on the platter and still five guests who haven’t yet gotten the platter. Therefore, I better take only one piece so that each guest will have at least two pieces.“ BUT I wanted more than one piece. And I wanted each guest to feel free to take three pieces. Frustration!

The solution was to fill a larger platter with enough chicken pieces so each guest would be able to eat at least three pieces of chicken. Now when the platter gets to me, I feel comfortable (not guilty) taking three pieces of chicken.

Playing Chicken with Food?

What’s the lesson here? Have you ever gone to someone’s house, been served a platter of food, and felt obliged to take very little so that other guests would have something to eat? If you say “No,” are you sure that you thought about the quantity of food on the platter, divided by the number of guests who have not yet been offered this platter? What’s that? You don’t care about things like that? You don’t care about that “last” person served who might have only a scanty portion to take from the platter?

I know I may have laid a guilt trip on you. I am sorry for that. Perhaps you do not believe you are an “offender” if you do not think of what is left on the platter for others. Perhaps you believe that guests should calculate how many pieces are on the platter and take their share, accordingly, even if it is ½ of a piece. Perhaps you are thinking “This guy is nuts. Just put chicken pieces on a platter, serve them to your guests, and don’t fret about anything. The guests will take care of themselves.”

I know. I care too much about others. I get into their skin, and I think, “This is how I want to be treated.” As detective Monk would say, “It is both a blessing and a curse.”

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com