And from the political wire…
Who says governments move so slowly they make turtles look like thoroughbreds?
When Dems control the wheel, ain’t no problem too big to flip on its flat little head.
The day after an appeals court denied the putative Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel a place on next month’s mayoralty election ballot, order, Democratic-style, was restored — with a head-twirling mercurial flourish.
Down home in Honestville, the Illinois Supreme Court ordered the Chicago Board of Elections to include Mr. Emanuel’s name on the ballot. And no talking back.
Minutes later, that predictable pillar of judicial probity agreed, with swirling swiftness, to hear the gentleman’s appeal of yesterday’s briefly disappointing decision.
Baby, when the courts are swinging for you, what does a dishonest Dem have to worry about in Honestville?
After the three-judge Illinois appeals court supposedly shocked the nation yesterday by ruling that Mr. Emanuel flunked the one-year residency test in Honestville, the Keith Olbermann of politics hooked one thumb in each ear and made the following arrogantly scented announcement:
“I have no doubt at the end we’ll prevail in this effort.”
When you know the final score before the game starts, nobody needs to perspire just to impress the rubes.
If the fix ain’t in, the judges’ blinding fast remedy sure smells.
Sounding like a television wrestler boasting of a conquest at the outset of a match, Mr. Emanuel, always armed, has been playing touch football with the big boys in Honestville too long to think they would deny him — Swishie’s ex-chief of staff — a job he wants more badly than Joe Biden’s fake hair shampoo.
This is sheerly speculative, you understand, but my impressively rational guess is that Mr. Emanuel sprinted to the airport every night after finishing work at the White House and flew home to Honestville.
Nope, that lie won’t work, either.
You see, the family to whom Mr. Emanuel rented his Honestville home demanded $100,000 from the Vulgar Vulture to break the lease. Vul, as friends refer to him, suggested the renter’s parents never quite married.
But who needed to move in? Not Vul. As a crooked Dem, he has the court system in Illinois wired.
Let’s All Hum Along, Friends
Welcome to Lola’s world, boys. What a Dem wants, a Dem gets in Honestville. Don’t waste the Vulgar Vulture’s time talking about such foolishness as civility. That is for sissies and Republicans.
No one in the political universe is nastier than the ill-mannered next Mayor of Honestville. But, I have bad news for him: Scoot over, pal. Your title is being threatened. Here comes your penultimate nightmare, the garish and the very fired Keith Olbermann.
Word emerged this afternoon that East Coast Democrats want the television version of the Vulgar Vulture to run for the U.S. Senate seat in Connecticut that 68-year-old Joe Lieberman is vacating in ’12. They thought it would be a nice contrast with the long tenure of the sweet Sen. Lieberman.
No matter how seamlessly Swishie sways and lip-synchs his State of the Union speech, the twin Vulgar Vultures’ stench stays strong near our sensitive schnozzolas.
