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And Therefore I Must Be Okay

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[img]96|left|Shachar||no_popup[/img]Dateline Jerusalem — I have the best friends in the world, from all over the world. When learning I was traveling to the U.S. for some diagnostic tests that were unavailable in Israel for several weeks, they included me in their prayers. Thanks to Hashem (G-d) and the “power of prayer,” I am fine (I think).

I borrow the words of the French philosopher Rene Descartes who said “I think, therefore I am.” He meant that if someone wonders whether he exists, that in and of itself is proof that he does exist. However, I use the phrase in a different context. To me it means that I think I am okay because I am told I am okay. And therefore I must be okay. The power of prayer also translates into the power of positive thinking. Although most people think I am an optimist in my view of life, the pessimist in me is always screaming to get out.

I flew to the States to get an ultrasound when an appointment would not be available to me for five weeks. Two weeks is the most I ever waited to get an appointment for diagnostic tests in Israel. Because I know from experience that medical care in Israel far exceeds that in the U.S., and Israel has the most innovative medical devices, inventions and discoveries in the world, I should have been more patient. But this patient has no patience when it comes to issues of health. If something can go wrong with me, it does. My motto, another version of “I think, therefore I am,” has always been “If I can think of it, it will happen.”

Just as Expected

Yesterday I went for my ultrasound in California. I filled out my medical history and discussed in detail the particular problem necessitating my Israeli doctor ordering the ultrasound in the first place. When I walked out of the exam, instead of peace of mind with the results of “nothing found,” I was concerned with the fact that nothing was found. The ultrasound did not show things that were found on every ultrasound I have had in the three-plus years I have lived in Israel! When I insisted on their existence, all of a sudden “something” appeared, and allegedly it was okay, thank G-d. Where was it before I insisted it was there? Just how thorough was the ultrasound?

But it wasn't just the fact that the technician only relied upon my indication of the location of the problem, and only concentrated in that area as opposed to examining everything and making comparisons, it was the idiotic comments made during the procedure that concerned me. Since the radiologist can only rely upon the ultrasound pictures provided by the technician, I wonder how accurate they may be under the circumstances. In Israel, I never get a technician, but the actual radiologist who is a medical doctor performs the procedure.

A Range of Reactions

When I discussed my apprehension with friends and family, and described how things are done in Israel, comments ranged from “They don’t do that here” to “Your tech must be inexperienced” to “Did you pay yet?” to “No wonder so many people die here” to “Stop making such a big deal out of nothing.” Needless to say, it is a good thing that I never canceled my appointment in Israel, scheduled for the day after I return there.

Considering I had to pay out of pocket for the ultrasound because I no longer have health insurance in California, at least it was affordable. But, I also found out during this California stay that I need a special kind of MRI for the problems I have had with my arm and shoulder for the last year. Since that is an expensive procedure, and I have no confidence in American healthcare as of yesterday, I have decided to wait to have it done in Israel.

In the meantime, I get to see family and friends. I went to the musical “Hair” at the Pantages theatre in Hollywood, had the most delicious Shabbat challah ever and got the recipe, and celebrated my birthday early at a kosher restaurant in Los Angeles that serves Israeli, Chinese, Mexican and traditional Jewish food. And I ate a little of everything!

To put all the worries of my friends and family at ease, “I think” all is okay, “therefore I am” sure all is okay, especially since I have so many wonderful friends praying that I am okay. Thank you all.

L'hitraot. Shachar

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