Surely Caroline Kennedy’s greasily wired ambassadorial payback last Wednesday crowned a magnificent week for an anvil chorus of underachieving American underdogs, emphasis on the final syllable.
Japan is suffering through nearly as many crises as Egypt.
She could not locate it on a globe with both hands free and a magnetic pointer. She took a wild swing in recalling that Japan may have been a participant in World War II. In case she was wrong, she wrote in pencil.
Caroline Baby is as eminently qualified to represent the Yankee view at the table as the late Lassie. She is, after all, a Kennedy. The only modesty associated for a century with the inflated clan is its cerebral potential.
For the single-dimension entertainment of the congenitally unsuspicious dominant media, a gaggle of our country’s most under-accomplished, comically unaware, liberals monopolized the daily news cycle – from Horseface Helen Thomas to the graceless parents of Trayvon Martin to Caroline Baby, the Angry Left gave us the best unbroken string of laughs since Jack Benny went off the air.
You need to reserve every seat in the Coliseum if each of President Obama’s worst-possible nominations of the last five years wishes to sit down, setting aside a box seat for Caroline Baby and providing a thimble for her mind.
Two of a Kind
Given President Obama’s embarrassingly acute passivity, his gaping lack of historical astuteness, and his intransigently squishy foreign policy, Caroline Baby – who isn’t sure whether a.m. or p.m. comes first – might be the right girl.
Even though Swish fills 50 percent of his vacancies by the intellectually rigorous system of throwing darts, dumb luck would give him a stronger choice than Caroline, the cerebral equal of the former housewives who represent Culver City in Sacramento and Washington. We ain’t talking quiz here, kids.
All Presidents are expected to hand select ambassadorial appointments to influential donors. Typically Mr. Obama failed to comprehend the subtleties of that directive.
Pal, you stick lay people in outposts where their liability for harm is limited. To send unqualified Caroline and her empty sand bucket of achievements to smoldering Japan is, sadly, typical of Swish’s ineptly inspired miscalculations.
• When Horseface Helen Thomas, the bitter, anti-Semitic syndicated columnist, died the other day at 92, the poster girl for angry left-wingers embarrassed surviving colleagues. None could remember a single professional accomplishment. Even though her Jew-hating was no secret in the business, it did not become widely known until she deservedly ended her career by loudly proclaiming Israeli Jews should turn over Israel to the Arabs and go back to the Europe of their ancestors. This, of course, did not deter the Los Angeles Titanic, The New York Times and Washington Post from penning unstintingly luminous obituaries of Horseface Helen.
• After unavoidably watching Trayvon Martin’s crudely discourteous parents cavort like circus performers before cameras in the days following the Zimmerman verdict, you can understand why the divorced pair’s son turned out as he did. The classless pair were at their behavioral worst the night a television interviewer showed them a clip of George Zimmerman’s mother saying she prays for Trayvon every day. Asked for a response, Trayvon’s father unloaded his trademark smirk. Insultingly, he sniveled that his family was too enveloped in grief to be bothered by what Mrs. Zimmerman was doing.
For you, we are to feel sympathy?
