Home OP-ED Gov. Brown’s Sexuality Becomes a Lefty Canoodling Point

Gov. Brown’s Sexuality Becomes a Lefty Canoodling Point

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I hope all of you, including God, are sitting down as you digest these punctilious pearls.

God, weren’t you the one who said liberals should be sprinkled among us normies so that we could afford to smile, even from deep inside a dark cave of mourning?

With all the excitement of a 2-year-old devouring his first melting mint popsicle with one hand tied behind his head, Johnny Topaz, a reporter for left-wing politico.com, served his liberal gods dessert this afternoon.

In the second sentence of his hard-breathing report that was fogging the glass in my windowless office, Mr. Topaz, whose sexual preference is unacknowledged, announced that plain-looking Kate Brown, sworn in minutes before as the emergency governor of Oregon, is, and this is so classy, “the first openly bisexual governor in the country.”

Oh, yeah?

Mr. Topaz did not reveal whether some irresponsible liberal institute will poll likely and unlikely voters before the next election to see what sexuality they would like their governors to choose.

What is with shallow left-wingers – a superfluity – especially the flamboyantly gay crowd, and their psychotic obsession with out-front sex?

Boys will be.

Ooops. I am not allowed to say that.

I doubt Diane and I will explore the psychological aspects of Katie Brown’s bisexuality over dinner this evening, especially since she is married with children, to coin a hackneyed phrase.

Wouldn’t this at least potentially embarrass them to have every conscious American know that wifey and Mommy prefers boy and girl partners?

What the heck would they label uncute Katie if she prefers transgendered boygirls or girlboys.

A guy can get dizzy fast in this sexual forest. We had a bisexual dog once – for a week. Before a jealous wife — or husband —  killed him. Or her. Which camp does this put us in?

Katie Brown just strolled by. She winked at my door. Who knew?