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I Am for, Against and Neutral on Gay Marriage, the Man Said

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President Obama reinforced his unrivaled reputation as the most numbing thinker to haunt the White House when he spoke to buzzfeed.com about his circular stances on gay marriage.

He has held enough contradictory opinions on same-sex marriage – eight, including nuances — to dizzify a dead man.

He makes a practicing narcissist look humble.

Despite vast banks of video evidence to the contrary, the Brian Williams of presidential history looks at the screen, he listens to his own words. Without blinking, he declares “I never said that.”

This is the kind of magician audiences pay serious money to see pull a hat out of a rabbit with rabies.

Envision Mr. Williams and Mr. Obama caged in a small, dingy, stale, airless room.

Forget, for a moment, the intended punchline. The imagery is precious.

They swap stories, staging a truthoff to see which glib-tongued slicky weasels out of the cage first. My money is on a radical Islamic terrorist to mow down both of them, only to have the coroner discover not a drop of blood flowed through the veins of either soulless liar.

You would expect this from a White House “leader” who:

• Has taken six years to compose his mind about the sagacity of the Keystone XL pipeline.

• Favors equal pay for men and women everywhere except the White House, where women earn considerably smaller salaries than the guys.

• Cannot decide which side to support in Syria.

• Cannot decide which side to support in Yemen.

• Cannot settle on, oh, say, two or three positions toward Russia.

• Cannot decide on two or three positions toward Iran.

• Cannot decide whether to arm under-siege Ukrainian patriots against Putin’s punks.

• With practiced fluidity, can straight-face that “global warming” is a greater threat to America than radical Islamists, though he is stumped for an explanation.

• Is proud to be the first American president to innovatively enter a war, belatedly, and claim “America will prevail by leading from behind.”

• Is proud to be the first American president to enter a war and announce on the same day the exact date on which he will withdraw said troops.

• Has failed to establish one single reliable ally on the entire planet while gassing away the goodwill of all inherited allies.

I Thee Bled

Now back to Swishy’s many declared positions on same sex marriage.

On the same day that President Obama took credit for trying to rescue Islamic terrorist victim Kayla Mueller, produced this gem from his interview with editor Ben Smith:

“Obama told BuzzFeed News that his own reversals on same-sex marriage — he supported it in a questionnaire he filled out in 1996, opposed it in the U.S. Senate and as president, and then “evolved” toward supporting it again — had taught him a lesson about politics.

“These are the kinds of things you learn as you move forward in public life: that sometimes you can’t split the difference,” Obama said. “That sometimes you just have to be very clear that this is what’s right.”

Explanations, in English, not only are welcomed but desperately needed.

Here is politico.com’s take on the president’s gobbledegook interview:

“President Barack Obama is pushing back against an explosive claim made in former adviser David Axelrod’s book: That Obama lied about his true feelings on same-sex marriage for political reasons.

“‘I think David is mixing up my personal feelings with my position on the issue,’ Obama said in an interview with BuzzFeed News published Tuesday.

“The president said that while he ‘always felt’ that same-sex couples should be afforded the same legal rights as heterosexual couples, he acknowledged that it was ‘frustrating to me not to, I think, be able to square that with what were a whole bunch of religious sensitivities out there.

“‘The old questionnaire … is an example of struggling with what was a real issue at the time, which is, how do you make sure that people’s rights are enjoyed and these religious sensitivities were taken into account?’ the president said.”