Home OP-ED When Joy and Anguish of Calendar Dates Clash

When Joy and Anguish of Calendar Dates Clash

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Setting for a Jewish wedding, with chuppa (canopy). Photo: mazelmoments.com

Second of three parts. 

Re: “When Calendars Fail to Harmonize” 

Twenty years after our older daughter Mabelle was born on a Sept. 1, Liana, our second daughter, was buried on this same date, Sept. 1, the 30th day of the Hebrew month of Av. She was only 18 years old.

In my book “Korban — The Sacrifice of Liana,” I wrote that it reminded me of the ancient Greek tragedies.

In numerology, 18 stands for the word “Hay, Chai (Ch= for sound kh).” In Hebrew, chai means life, which also refers to one of the names that is given to G-d.

Of course we did not intentionally choose Liana’s burial date. It just happened. I insisted that our rabbi change the date.

However, Mabelle, brave and compassionate, said: “It is okay for me. I can share my birthday with my sister.”

Since I was not giving up, Mabelle added wisely that “the dates in France and America are not the same.”

This is true. The time difference between the two countries is nine hours.

Some years later, our son Ruben asked if the date of Sept. 1 was good for us to plan their wedding. We looked at the calendar. Somehow G-d had made us blind, and we did not notice that their wedding date and the 30th of Av had fallen together again in the same day.

It was only after a month that we realized the conflicting dates. But it was too late to change, and religiously, there was no prohibition.

The morning of Ruben’s wedding we prayed solemnly. We remembered Liana.

In the evening, we celebrated Ranika and Ruben’s wedding with joy.

When we were walking to the hall where the ceremony of the wedding was going to take place, I looked through the windows facing the ocean.

I saw the most beautiful sunset in the horizon.

So the first day of Elul already had started.

(To be continued)

Dr. Rosemary Hartounian Cohen, who lives in the Fairfax District, received her Ph.D in sociology from the Sorbonne in Paris. She lived in two other countries before moving, with her husband and four children, to Los Angeles in 1984. She has published four books in America. Since 1985, she has operated Atelier de Paris, an international art business, on Robertson Boulevard. Her email address is Rosemary@atelierdeparis.com

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