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This Banks Must Have Been Robbed

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Los Angeles Times columnist Sandy Banks. Photo: LA Times

If she will forgive the extravagantly poetic characterization of her self-ordained plight as the sour cherry atop a poisonous Islamic cake, I shall proceed:

One of the most willful publicly ignorant black women in Los Angeles, Sandy (I Am a Victim of Racism, and Logic Will Not Change My Mind) Banks, was the ideal foil in President Obama’s designation of December as Kiss a Sissy Muslim on Both Lips month.

Her latest rhetorical abortion in Saturday’s Los Angeles Times was the predictable appetizer for President Obama’s newest narcissistic entrée, an I Love My Fellow Muslims ditty, theatrically served up Sunday night from the once proud Oval Office.

Here is the genesis of Mr. Obama’s 13-minute plunge last night into an insane political abyss:

Suffering from chronic mental diaper rash, Mr. Obama had embarrassed our country and himself so drastically with his uninformed remarks after last month’s Paris massacre by Islamic terrorists that White House advisors, led by chief minder Valerie Jarrett, told the president he must make amends with the American people.

Ignoring his plea of why — since he had no strategy to describe – advisors promised to piece together shards of his recent verbal abominations covered by a thin sheen of newness, with allusions to San Bernardino. The peasants never would recognize the difference, they assured the simple president.

This enchanting twosome takes turns. Sandy defends Muslim killers on Saturdays. Bizarro awkwardly defends Islamic extremists the other six days of the week.

As a well-paid professional victim, Sandy’s weekly assignment is to defend human scum du jour, occasionally relatives of hers.

With increasing frequency, Simplistic Sandy blasts those normal persons who criticize Muslims for killing tens of thousands because they are not Islamic.

A proud, typically thin-minded Democrat, a self-described Christian expert on the Koran, Simple Sandy confessed Saturday she “was relieved” when she heard the dastardly Muslim killers in Sam Bernardino were not part of an official terror network. This is how low-brow liberals rationalize about Muslim monsters.

“That means,” she said with racist pride, “I can lump them in with the right-wing nut accused of shooting up a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado.”

Eh, wot?

Under the Saturday headline “A Couple’s Inexplicable Path,” Sandy the Silly Sympathizer suggested that dat old anonymous debbil – Lutheranism? — must have made new parents Syed and Tashy, radical Muslims, kill 14 and mangle 21. Surely their animalism could not have derived from harmless Islam.

The budding bigoted theologian concluded that oh, shoot, any Baptist, Jewish or Hindu parents of a six-month-old could have committed the same crime the two Muslim two-legged dogs did.

Says Sandy, possibly a god-to-be: “What they did was evil, not Islam.”

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