Wearing a moustache these days south of his schnozzola, the first heap big Chief Wahoo in history to wear horn-rimmed spectacles has proposed the dumbest idea yet to the Los Angeles City Council in a career dedicated to putrid proposals.
Being a gentleman of uncomplicated underaccomplishment, Mitch (Faith ‘n Begorrah, Do Ya See the Twinkle in His Bleary Irish Eyes?) O’Farrell sent his latest bum idea to city staffers on Friday morning encased in a dirty handkerchief last inside a washing machine in early 2010.
Witchy Mitchie turns out to be a member of the Wyandotte (We Haven’t Done Any Scalpings Since 9/11) Native American tribe.
Loyal to his heap big historic Redskin roots, Chief Wahoo, as his Injun squaw calls him, is suggesting that Los Angeles shove Columbus Day onto the pile of scalps that used to be attached to white invaders’ – until war-painted Injuns galloped through their villages, knives and flaming arrows ablaze.
He is urging unscalped white and black and brown men (and a woman) who surround him on the City Council to kick Columbus in his Italian tush and replace Columbus Day with – are you ready? – Indigenous Peoples Day. Indij for short, I presume.
We were told that such bastions of political baloney as Berkeley, Minneapolis, Santa Cruz and Seattle honor indij men, women and, lest we forget, transgenders.
Which savages are the indigenous peoples?
Does heap big Chief Wahoo know that Republicans settled here even before his beloved Washington Redskins?
Like a good little liberal, Chief W. (not to be confused with George W.) said, establishing Indigenous Peoples Day “is about righting one of the greatest slights that any ethnic group has ever had to endure.”
Except for Republicans under Flash Obama.
