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When Parents Misbehave at Games

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Photo: deadspin.com

Before she became a candidate for the School Board, Prof. Kelly Kent was – and is – a member of the Parks and Recreation Commission, which recently treated the nagging and permanent problem of parental misbehavior at sporting events.

Fellow Commissioner Scott Garland said he was disturbed “because there have been a number of incidents at youth sports events where parents have been getting rowdy with each other, even violent, accusatory and inappropriate with the referees,” Dr. Kent said.

“Questions came up:

  • “What are we modeling for our children?
  • “What is the purpose of youth sports?
  •  “What are we trying to teach them?
  •  “What is the role of grownups in that setting?”

Dr. Kent said Mr. Garland wanted to organize a panel “where we all would speak to what our responsibilities are as adults.”

Each of the five commissioners invited one panelist, and Dr. Kent’s choice was Lena Dobreer, “a young African American woman who is a basketball ref and coach at Cheviot Hills, where my daughter plays.”

Dr. Kent selected Ms. Dobreer “because she is an incredible role model for the young girls who play in these leagues. She is so strong and clear about the ethics of the game. She not only refs but also coaches. She takes positives. She corrects the girls, not just for their form or staying out of the box but she emphasizes how they treat each other.

“She has outstanding morals, she is a great role model, and those are reasons I wanted her to come.”

The Parks and Commission panel meeting was well attended.

“There was way more engagement than I expected, and we had a positive outcome,” Dr. Kent said. “I had written down a slew of questions that I would ask each panelist to feed the discussion. It wasn’t necessary, though, Everyone had something to say. The microphone could have gone around another hour on q and a.

“There was a sense of responsibility about this,” said the professor of neuroscience. “It’s hard to say whether this evening will go the next step and turn into something.

“We need to follow through. The energy,” Dr. Kent enthusiastically recalled, “was exactly what you would have wanted.”

Here was a crucial takeaway for Dr. Kent:

“Somebody has to lose at every game, and therefore we need to teach our youths to embrace failure in the same way we are trying to win. We embrace failure because we are learning from that experience.”

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