[img]958|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — When my S.O. and I were in San Diego a few weeks ago, we went to the San Diego Zoo. This zoo is so big, we spent seven hours there and didn’t even cover Australia!
Our first stop was actually outside the zoo, in the parking lot. The Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile was parked there. Couples took turns taking pictures of each other in front of the mammoth hot dog with wheels.
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Inside the zoo, we saw lots of tortoises and snakes. And then we saw…some more tortoises and snakes. The tortoises were small, medium, and large. They all looked old. The snakes were mostly large. They moved a lot. Apparently, it was lunchtime. Have you ever seen a snake with the back half of a rat sticking out of its mouth? You haven’t missed a thing, trust me.
Moving right along, we saw some really cool lizards. There was one whose head was red, middle was blue, and tail was turquoise. Inside the enclosure were several hidden tortoises. We decided that the zoo should be renamed The San Diego Tortoise and Snake Zoo, with Some Other Animals.
We saw monkeys, who are always cute, and bonobos, a type of chimpanzee. One of the bonobos grossed us all out by sticking his hand in his mouth to make himself throw up. He then ate the result. Eww. A moment later, he offered some to a friend, who gladly accepted. My stomach started to feel funny. We continued on our way.
We saw two hippos, sleeping in their underwater enclosure. Hippos are adorable when they’re sleeping. You could see the teeth, the whiskers, and the top half of one hippo’s snout, which was sticking out of the water. Sleeping hippos blowing bubbles is almost too cute for words.
At lunch, we ate taquitos (what else is there to eat in Southern California?) and then moved on to the pandas. The pandas at the San Diego Zoo are such a big hit that you have to stand in line and have your picture taken before entering the panda viewing space. At the end of your trip, you can see how your picture came out and pay $20 to take it home. It’s framed by a panda in each corner, superimposed on the photo. The photo that’s actually taken is in front of a green screen. The finished photos were so hokey, I decided we should have a little fun with ours. I asked the photographer where the big panda eating bamboo would be, and she pointed to our upper left. S.O. and I made a mock terrified face and pose.
Junior, Are You All Right?
Inside, we followed a line that moved very slowly, and heard a woman’s voice directing us to keep moving. We soon saw why. A female panda was sitting down, tearing apart stalks of bamboo and eating them with gusto. The sight put the sleeping hippos on the back burner. Pandas are just inherently cute, even more so when they’re sitting up, and even more still when they’re doing something with their paws. It didn’t look real. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any cuter, the zoo lady noted that the panda was a mama, and her baby was above her, sleeping in the tree. Sure enough, we looked up, and there he was, sacked out on a branch, with all four legs hanging down. He looked as though he would fall at any minute, but our guide reassured us that he was safe, just exhausted. It must be hard to be so enchanting.
On our way out, we stopped to see our staged panda photo. It was fantastic! We happily paid the $20, and now we have a souvenir to last for years to come.
Eventually, we moved on. Our next stop was the lion enclosure. It was a real treat because we saw both a male and female lion up close, which is a rare sight, in my experience. The baby panda must have given the lions an idea, because they were sacked out as well. They looked like giant cats! Uh…well, they looked like giant housecats. Very cute. Have you ever seen a sleeping lion with its tongue sticking out? A-dor-a-ble. The children and adults were delighted when the male lion woke up and nudged his partner. By this time, she was lying on her back, paws curled up, making us all swoon with affection. And then we all wanted to hide our eyes.
Mr. Lion stuck his head right between Mrs. Lion’s legs (yes, I am going to assume they were married), and woke her up by cleaning her. She woke up, the children laughed, the grownups gasped, and we all quickly found ourselves wanting to see other things. “Pandas! Wanna see the pandas? Who wants ice cream? Daddy wants to see the okapi—let’s go!” We got out of there fast. At that point I would have been happy to see some more tortoises and snakes.
After a quick tour of a few other animal enclosures, we took the air lift Skyfari. We got from one end of the zoo to the opposite end, hit the multiple gift shops, and headed home, full of photos and memories. I highly recommend this zoo if you’re ever in San Diego. Be prepared to spend some money, laugh a lot, and walk around for hours. Be sure to wear your sneakers.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at her new address, snobbyblog@gmail.com
