An elderly neighbor came to see me in tears yesterday. He was worried about his 56-year-old son. The neighbor already had lost one son to alcoholism and his other son was showing signs of going the same way.
In addition, his son had collapsed an hour ago although he appeared all right now.
Would I see if there was anything I could do to help? I agreed.
Three of them, my neighbor, his son and his son’s wife, came over later and we set to work.
A diabetic, the son also was unemployed and on disability after recent shoulder surgery. He admitted he had been unable to hold down any job for longer than 18 months to 2 years, and he was laid off from his mechanic’s job two years ago.
Double D: Drinking and Diabetes
Binge drinking ever since, his health has been in decline. He acknowledged he was simply stuffing his feelings by using alcohol as a crutch. He drank heavily to fall asleep so he would not have to remember he was unemployed, a failure in his wife’s eyes and in his view, too.
Hope was gone. His drinking was exacerbating his diabetes.
A miserable man with a lovely wife, he was stuck in his selfish misery. He had allowed himself to become a victim. Others should look after him because he was a double victim of his injured shoulder and sickness, he said.
He saw himself as a fat, unkempt drinker, worthless, unable to provide for his family.
I told him he was mostly a victim of his own self-talk. The quality of his life was only as good as the quality of his thoughts. He questioned this. I showed him his internal negative thoughts were sucking the life out of him.
Were he to alter his internal self-talk to a more positive thought process, he would feel better about everything.
I suggested he ask himself, “Is what I am doing contributing to my success, happiness and prosperity?”
Sugar Levels Are Crucial
If not, discontinue that thinking. If so, pursue it. The totality of his decisions and actions had led him to this point, opposite me in a therapy office after collapsing.
As a diabetic, he was aware of how fluctuating sugar levels would affect his health. So far, he had chosen to ignore what he needed to do, one reason he was suffering from wildly fluctuating mood swings.
I explained the importance of ensuring even sugar levels.
As I have said previously, stabilizing sugar levels allows the brain to function not from a primitive level (hyper-vigilance, insomnia, irritability, aggressiveness) but from a stable, higher thinking level that would allow him to make better decisions based on thinking pro-actively rather than reacting from his primitive state. I gave him a diet sheet to assist him in choosing healthier foods better suited to his diabetes.
I told him about a person who spent eight days continuously in A.A. meetings as a means to break his continuous drinking habit and how his life had changed.
I urged his wife to attend Al Anon meetings, too, so she could see what her contribution to their current situation was. She was doing her best to help him out of his funk by telling him that he was more than he saw himself to be. Unfortunately in her desire to help, she was hindering recovery by making excuses for his behaviors.
He responded to hypnosis. While in hypnosis, I was able to show him his current self-image and to encourage him to see a more successful self-image, a capable man, constructively employed, doing what he loved to do, clean and sober, and in a loving relationship with his wife of 26 years.
I helped him start to overcome his feeling bad was the norm, that feeling better about himself would be his new norm.
A week later, the difference was profound. Already happier, he was thinking more clearly, eating better and not drinking.
He had discovered feeling good, a thought process he did not want to lose. A new determination was in his eye. His victim mentality already was vanishing.
His father, his wife and other relatives were seeing the change. Thankfully, they stood back to let them happen. He said what every hypnotist loves to hear: “As a result of my sessions, I feel better than I have in years. I love it.”
A clinical hypnotherapist, handwriting analyst and expert master hypnotist, Nicholas Pollak may be contacted at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net
