As my old friend Flip used to say, “Here comes da judge,” dripping and drooling as he dashes for cover from the fury of decent people.
I went to sleep last night harboring the darkest suspicion I have entertained since finding out that New York Democratic Congressman Anthony (Hold the Mustard) Weiner’s maiden name was Mad Anthony Hot Dog:
I feared being greeted this morning with a blaring announcement that U.S. Dist. Judge Vaughn (The Mawn) Walker had outlawed marriage between non-gay couples. The California Legislature, meanwhile, is pressing Vaughn (The Mawn) to require that only one partner in California marriages be gay —with incontrovertible proof, of course.
Judge Walker, whose male wife says he is a mediocre dancer, executed a slick piece of tongue-twisted terpischory yesterday. He outlawed the outlawing of gay marriage in California, burning Prop. 8 to the ground, the people’s will be darned.
As a reward for their shanty behavior, gay community hardliners erupted last night to prove they are as silly in their Equality for Us Really, Really Sufferin’ Victims campaigning as the scamsters leading the historically hysterical global warming war on America. (Or didn’t you digest the latest lighter fluid by balmy Bill (The Earth Is Burning, The Earth Is Burning) McKibben in his diatribe yesterday morning in the Los Angeles Times?)
As the face of thoughtful journalistic compassion for North America, the Times offered a complexly reasoned coda to the gay judge’s gay decision: “Anyone who disagrees with the judge is a bigot.”
I trust there is a consensus of sensible Americans left who believe that the egalitarian-crazed left wing that is in power has OD’d on greenhouse gas emissions.
I Will Say ‘I Do’ for Both of You
Upon astute reflection, it is only fair that loopy Susan (PMS) Bolton, the U.S. District Judge in Phoenix who last week threw out choice parts of Arizona’s new anti-illegal alien law, should be forced to publicly wed Vaughn (The Mawn) Walker before nightfall. Those two clowns deserve each other. Further, they should not be permitted to divorce, no matter how fast they drive each other batty.
There should be a cost to such blatant displays of left-wing philosophical bankruptcy.
Jubilant left wing human fire engines are darting all over the California landscape this morning, the fist-shaking lobbyists for “gay equality” celebrating their newfound marital lawlessness while mocking sensible people who advocate law and order.
Amidst the maniacal screaming, friends, settle back for a moment and ponder the 200 words below that probably will be the most compelling assessment you will read all day on the anti-Prop. 8 ruling. The author is an attorney, William Duncan, director of the Marriage Law Foundation:
The court’s legal premise is pretty novel. Judge Walker rules that laws reflecting the understanding of marriage as the union of a man and a woman violate the Fourteenth Amendment’s due-process and equal-protection clauses. That is to say, he believes Proposition 8 took away a fundamental right and singled out a protected class for unfair treatment. The bottom-line conclusion in support of both legal theories is that California voters could have had no motive in supporting Proposition 8 other than a desire to signal that people who identify as gay and lesbian are inferior to heterosexuals. This is deeply problematic on at least two levels.
First, none of the testimony in the trial showed (nor could it have shown) the voters’ subjective intent in approving the measure. A corollary point is that the question is entirely irrelevant. If voters pulled the lever for that law because they liked the number 8, or because they have atavistic hatreds, or because they really believe that marriage between husband and wife is a uniquely valuable institution though they have no problem with their gay and lesbian neighbors, it is hard to imagine what those intentions could have to do with whether the law they approve accords with the Constitution.
At the risk of offending another lightweight crowd, the church vs. state fanatics, I say “Amen,” brother.
