Home OP-ED Circular Experiences of Me and My Infant In How Government Should...

Circular Experiences of Me and My Infant In How Government Should Not Work

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When Bill Clinton proclaimed that the “era of big government is over,” he wasn’t standing in line at the California DMV.

He also had no idea that President Barack Obama would sign a bill over 3,000 pages long that would massively regulate the American people, forcing them to pay private companies in the health insurance and pharmaceutical industry or be fined as a sanction.

Based on these comments, you might assume that I am no fan of a big role for government, but in fact, I would have much preferred a simple, single-payer system (Medicare for all) to the labyrinthine regulations that ultimately require us to enrich the same people who have already made our healthcare system in the United States such a mess.

I would also prefer a Dept. of Motor Vehicles more concerned with genuinely protecting the citizenry from fraud and most of all to help minimize vehicular accidents and injury, than one that simply processes drivers as a tool for the automotive insurance industry and car companies. In short, I like big government that works, not the corrupt, big corporatist system we have masquerading as a government of, for and by the People.

And so it was despite my genuine belief in government, that yesterday became one of those days when I wanted to get some poster paints, make a homemade poster, and join the Tea Party crusaders. What government we have left, after years of starvation by legions of Republicans and complicit Democrats, barely appears to work at all.

Suicide — Briefly It Was an Option

quick communication, I actually saw a County employee using a typewriter and a DOS -based program to get things done. Between the Los Angeles County vital records department, the semi-privatized U.S. Post Office, and the poster child for big government, Social Security, I considered suicide – just to end the unbearable suffering of standing in long lines and speaking to disaffected workers (who at least have a job) to complete the most mundane of tasks. Our child was born at home a little over a month ago. My desire to avoid excessive intervention by the medical establishment, by eschewing the hospital, led to the other extreme – government intervention. In order to travel outside the country with our infant, he’ll need his own passport. Gone are the days of yore when a child could travel on his or her parent’s passport. I still look fondly upon my mother’s ‘70’s passport – where a picture of me on her lap was enough to gain entry into various countries.

And so the circus began. In order to get a passport, I needed a birth certificate and Social Security number. I carefully scrutinized the County’s five-page guide to obtaining a birth certificate for an “out-of-hospital birth” and gathered the sheaf documents I’d need to prove I’d had a live birth. (For the record, I assume the process is so burdensome because the state of California is trying to prevent a surge of illegal aliens from registering the birth of their foreign children. Apparently, the state legislature is unaware of the open illegal document trade in downtown Los Angeles. If that’s not the reason, then the process is just nuts.)

In addition to the myriad of documents I needed proving my and my husband’s existence as well as that of my child – the County required that we bring in our newborn child. Yes, I was required to bring my weeks-old child out into the germ- infested universe. Shockingly, the workers complained when he cried – quite loudly.

While holding a crying baby in one hand and a stroller in the other, I was given a sheaf of forms to complete. (Could these forms have been mailed to me or at least made available for download online?) When government doesn’t work , it also doesn’t just fail—it fails miserably. The post office is suffering a similar fate. Because it doesn’t “make money” or “pay for itself,” we keep hearing about the possibility of loss of service. Already the blue box in my neighborhood has disappeared.

I experienced another one of the new “efficiencies” just last week.

I accepted a long time ago, that the post office is all about long lines and uneven service. I know about this first-hand. My father was a postal clerk. I’ve seen the workings of the post office from the back – and let me just say, you don’t want to know what goes on back there. But as the daughter of a lifelong postal worker, I have a certain nostalgic fondness for the USPS and always choose their services above others.

May I Help You? Shoo, Go Away

But the last two times I’ve been in line waiting to mail packages and buy stamps, I’ve been accosted by a post office employee wanting to know what services and products I’m using or purchasing. As I’m quite capable of communicating my needs to the clerk, I ignored the first person who asked me this at the Sherman Oaks office. And when my turn came, I was able to successfully mail my certified letter.

Last week, I was accosted again in the Studio City branch. She wouldn’t take my rebuff – especially after she explained how our discussion was going to make my experience so much more pleasant. So I told her why I was there – surprise – to mail packages using a variety of methods. She pulls out a tree-killing pad and scribbles down my plans to, gasp, mail things and buy stamps.

Obediently, I hand my scrap of paper (which wasn’t recycled, by the way) to the clerk who scrutinizes it, then asks me which packages I’m mailing and which services I’m using. So I do what I usually do and explain to her what I need, and she takes care of it as always. The accoster, as far as I can see, served no purpose other than to act as an unnecessary middle man. I thought of suggesting she leave the post office and work for a health insurance company but resisted the temptation.

My last stop was at Social Security. And for once, the government got it right. I walked in, got a number, waited ten minutes, and applied for the Social Security number when my number was called. It was as easy as that. I’d filled out the application on-line, and it was smooth sailing from the moment I walked in the door. Throw a little money at government, and it can work – and work well. It’s too bad so many want to banish it for private industries that provide even worse service at high prices – cable television and cell phones anyone? Though the County and the semi-privatized government offices had taken the bloom off the rose – my experience with Social Security convinced me to put away my desire to make ugly homemade signs. It’s too bad our corporatist Presidents up until, and including the mistakenly labeled Obama (he’s not a socialist by any stretch) are more interested in private industry giveaways than, well, socialism.

Next week it’s the post office again for my son’s passport application – and yes, I have to bring him to a government office — again. I imagine, I’ll be back to the poster paints then.

Jessica Gadsden has been controversial since the day she discovered her inner soapbox. She excoriated the cheerleaders on the editorial page of her high school paper, transferred from a co-educational university to a women's college to protest the gender-biased curfew policy, published a newspaper in law school that raked the dean over the coals with (among other things) the headline, “Law School Supports Drug Use”—and that was before she got serious about speaking out. Progressive doesn't begin to define her political views.  A reformed lawyer, she is a fulltime novelist who writes under a pseudonym, of course. A Brooklyn native, she divided her college years between Hampton University and Smith.

Ms. Gadsden’s essays appear every other Tuesday. She may be contacted at www.pennermag.com