[img]396|left|Alex Campbell||no_popup[/img]Go into your favorite coffee shop. Choose a table by a window that’s half in the sun, half in the shade. Place backpack in chair to secure your space. Order cookie, “on a plate,” so they won’t put it into a bag. Order tea, requesting they leave “this much” room for milk. Indicate amount with thumb and forefinger.
Pour out the water that’s filled up to the top because they didn’t listen to your request. Bob the tea bag up and down to activate flavor. Pour in one packet of Sugar in the Raw, the healthy sugar. Stir with a drinking straw, not a stirrer; straws are stronger. Add a mix of whole milk and skim milk. Stir with straw. Taste. Bob tea bag up and down. Stir. Grab two napkins.
Wipe off table with one napkin, even if it appears clean. Chances are, it isn’t. Sit down. Stick the other napkin between your crossed legs, leaving enough room to wipe the tips of your fingers every once in awhile.
Prepare to eat cookie by breaking it into minuscule pieces. Alternate one sip of tea with two bites of cookie. Admire the beautiful men and women walking outside. Eavesdrop on the conversation at the next table.
Eat cookie around edges first, saving the best part, the middle, for last. Make sure the cookie and tea are ingested evenly. Make the necessary adjustments if this is not the case. Admire/make fun of the hair/clothes/shoes of passersby. Make eye contact with attractive people. Smile. Three-quarters of the way through your tea, take the bag out. Swish the tea around in the cup to mix any sugar that didn’t get mixed with the straw.
See someone you know. Turn the other way so she doesn’t see you. Notice how much the man at the next table looks like Stephen King.
Notice older man at the trunk of his Mercedes barking into his cell phone as if it were a walkie talkie. Wonder if he’s lost. Know he’s lost as he takes out a map. Don’t go out and offer to help. You’re enjoying the show, as well as your cookie and tea.
Finish cookie first, then tea. Wonder why the Mercedes man doesn’t ask for help; there are tons of people walking by. Put tea bag and napkin in paper cup, cover with lid. Watch as man’s family comes out of the bookstore next to the coffee shop.
See people you know. Tap on window to get their attention. Listen as they tell you they just saw a famous actor in the bookstore. Tell them that you were writing about the man and his cell phone. Find out it really is a walkie talkie; the man you’ve been watching is the famous actor’s driver.
Toss the cup into the trash, bring the plate back to the counter, push in your chair, and walk out with your friends.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at campbellalexandra@hotmail.com
