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The Blight Before Christmas

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Twas the night before Christmas, and all ‘round the Street
Not a banker was stirring or making a tweet
The bailers bailed mightily, full of good cheer,
In hopes of more bailing in the coming New Year.
The hedge fund spinners were snug in their beds,
While exotic new instruments danced in their heads,
And I in Armani (and cashmere, as well),
Had just trotted off after the final Wall bell.

When out in the street there arose quite a clash
Like a driver who'd not swapped his Clunker for Cash.
I dashed to the door to glance the ill-tempered lout
But surprise froze my tongue ‘fore the words could come out.

Built with my taxes, at once I could see
That General Motors made this SUV.
Big guzzler, bright bumpers, amazing yes, indeed,
and with the promise of handouts came execs with lightning speed.

A trunk full of money, come carrot and stick

All at once I could see, this wasn’t St. Nick.

More rapid than new regs as they went flashing past
Three cheers for recovery, we hope it takes fast.

On Nancy, on Harry, on Barney and Ben.
Push interest rates low in hopes that they’ll lend.

From the top of the Hill! To the stores in the mall!
Try to keep the cash flowing for one and for all!

From California to Kansas; from D.C. to Maine
All the coffers were broken and their budgets insane.

The scramblers and gamblers went up with a shout

Foreclosures were rising, pushing homeowners out.

“To the House, to the Senate, to President O,
Let's invest in small business, it’s the right way to go!
It's cheaper than propping up “too big to fail.”
The ROI's better than Wall Street's Big Bail!”

Like snowflakes drifting from sky scrape to street
Portfolios fell swiftly with barely a peep.
We need fresh ideas and new industries, too
To bring back investors and our job market renew.

So here’s to a time none will like to recall
When our economy shook and the dollar did fall.

As their sleigh slipped away, their last words I could hear:
“Merry Christmas to all, and a prosp'rous New Year!”

John Cohn is a senior partner in the Globe West Financial Group based in West Los Angeles. He may be contacted at www.globewestfinancial.com