Nothing is worse than a car accident, particularly when you are not even in the car and your car is stationary.
My wife’s vehicle was hit while parked in a parking lot the other day. Much to her surprise, there was a note of apology with a name and a phone number to contact.
Not unusual to have dings in your car from being left in a lot. Most unusual was that someone was courteous enough to accept the consequences of his actions.
Too often, anyone who leaves a ding in your vehicle while parking will not leave a name or number. Indeed, they probably and will try to get away fast from the scene. If there are no witnesses, the driver may often deny being at fault.
This brings the question of accepting responsibility for our own actions and the consequences of our actions.
As parents, we constantly admonish our children to tell the truth? Often children will lie about their role in certain mischief. When parents learn the truth, they will try to help the child correct the wrongs.
A cynical old joke goes this way:
“How do you know when teenagers are lying?”
“Anytime they speak.”
It is important for parents to continually check up on their kids to ensure their safety, also to be certain that their child is telling the truth.
It also is important to call out children when they are lying. Be sure punishment is swift but fair.
A friend who has two daughters was a pretty laid-back guy, caring and loving to his children. When they lied, he simply told them not to do it again. Of course they lied again because he did not teach them there were consequences.
He did not want to be the bad guy. Effectively, he taught them that even if caught, there were no consequences for their actions.
Learning Too Late
They continued to get away with their lying and with the illusion that there were no consequences for their actions.
When authorities were called into a nasty situation, the sisters discovered yelling, begging, pleading and crying could not prevent the court-mandated punishment they received.
Had they been taught to tell the truth, and accept the consequences, they probably would not have ended up in the trouble.
Far too late, the father realized he, in a way, had contributed to their problem by not taking appropriate action.
When telling the truth, there is no need to worry that a question asked of you may have a different answer than the answer that was given before.
When lying, you must constantly remember what you told to whom. This is stressful. It will lead to sleepless nights. You are constantly worrying about what you said to whom and how many other lies you may have to tell to make the original lie workable.
The End of Worrying
Telling the truth ensures a confident response. It lessens the need to be concerned about what you may have said to whom. It also ensures that even if your situation is a tough one, you are going to sleep at night. As long as you are telling the truth, whatever occurs will occur. At the least, you will have a clear conscience about your part, regardless of the outcome.
Another friend was going through a bitter divorce. His soon-to-be ex-wife constantly told their children that he was lying about everything and that only she was telling the truth.
Although the father assured his children he was not lying, they would not believe him. They had been programmed to believe the opposite.
At one point the children told him that their mother was complaining that their father was not paying the court- mandated child and spousal support. All of them were suffering because she did not have enough money for them.
During a court-mandated therapy session, the father produced a statement form the County office that he paid his support to each month, and showed he was current.
With the help of the therapist he explained to his children what the statement was, who it was from and what it was for.
The children were both shocked and saddened. They realized the one person they thought they could trust t had been lying. When they pressed their mother, she admitted lying. But she was still not forthcoming about other lies she had been telling them and the courts.
In a two-year battle, the truth won out. The father was rewarded with custody of his two children. He had been consistent throughout the process, and the courts recognized this. Everything the courts required of him he did.
For the children, it was almost too late. They learned that lying was a way of life to manipulate others so that they could get what they wanted.
After time with their father, they discovered lying was causing only frustration and anger.
When they told the truth, the punishment was not as severe as it might have been.
They taught themselves to stop and think of the consequences. They weighed the pros and cons. They found the better the decision they made, the more rewards they gained.
A clinical hypnotherapist, handwriting analyst and certified master hypnotist, Nicholas Pollak may be contacted at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net
