Don’t tell my wife, but sometimes I wish I were gay.
Ah, the gay lifestyle I would lead, night and day.
I could run red lights at will, and the traffic cop immediatey would silence my pesky critics by saying, “It’s okay, folks. He is gay.”
I could murder people I disagree with. Magistrates the breadth of the land would say, “It is okay, folks. He is gay. He often was a victim during his growing up years. He just needs to flex a few kinks in his betroubled psyche. You are free to go, Mr. Noonan.”
Looks Like Ganging up
Let us return to a remarkably uninspiring moment in last night’s City Council meeting.
Speaking as the father of two adult sons who are gay, I was profoundly disappointed, but not surprised, that 6 brave men — the City Manager and 5 members of the City Council — lined up single file and shoved an old lady of 80 over a cliff because, well, it’s a little complicated, they tell me.
“A little complicated” means we can’t exactly explain it, but, by George, it feels like the right thing to do.
Talk about a drive-by ouster.
The Courageous City Hall 6 spoke so fast, disposed of the agenda item so blurringly that, even though I was sitting in the front row, I did not quite catch the reason one of these normally clear-thinking fellows decided to kick an old lady in the shins.
Just felt good, that’s all. Next case.
As you can plainly see, “diversity,” dat ol’ debbil, as the song goes, is hot air hooey that suspiciously resembles the hocus and pocus of global warming.
Diversity should be society’s ideal, its norm, our liberal friends tell us, unless you disagree with me. Then we will whack you because all who disagree with me are bigots, ipso fact, says every liberal I know.
We have reproduced the old lady’s enthusiastically condemned letter to the Culver City News in today’s City Council report. We have reproduced the City Manager’s letter to the City Council whereby his reasons for recommending her instant ouster from a little-known commission, her permanent banishment into the darkness of disgrace, are said to be listed.
I did not see them. I did not even see a reason in the old lady’s letter to bring this embarrassing action in the first place except to placate the liberal claque.
Just as you do not know what you believe if you cannot communicate it clearly, I never heard one of the Courageous City Hall 6 unveil a condemnatory reason for shoving the lady down a chute into the mud.
They mumbled something about criticizing gay candidates elected to the School Board although they don’t know exactly what she said, or why what she said was wrong — but gosh darn it, slapping an old lady who is believed to oppose the gay lifestyle sure feels good, like taking a hot shower after a vigorous workout in clammy weather.
The Persian Angle
What if the old lady had found out that the two School Board members in question were not gay but were Persians? They had come to this country and hid behind Americanized names to make themselves more palatable.
Would the Courageous City Hall 6 have pushed that old lady off a craggy cliff?
No, pal, because, you see. I don’t have any Iranians in my family, so I don’t give a darn what she says about them.
The boys in Council Chambers would have been in a real fix if a black lady, instead of Delores Seehusen, had committed the liberal world’s one unforgivable crime.
Wouldn’t that have been delicious cerebral fun?
What would the busybody moral arbiters on the City Council have done when a societal “victim” was perceived to have criticized a societal “victim”?
Maybe a group hug was the solution?
Or should you ship the lot of them off to prison while you scratch your misguided ghead?
Political correctness, not morality, not even goofy government regulations that Swish is trying to rewrite should have driven the conclusion-jumpers, the anti-reasoning crowd on the City Council, to have purposely humiliated his lady.
I never have been 80. I never have spoken with the aforementioned “old lady,” one Delores Seehusen.
But this afternoon, I feel pain for her that she may be too numb — from this humilation — to feel herself.
