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Why Won’t the Global Warmies Engage in a Manly Debate?

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[img]1|left|||no_popup[/img]The predictably overwrought defenders of global warming, who are losing ground faster than Tiger and Swish, could win back their shrinking audience if they did something unprecedented:

Pit their evidence against that of the skeptics.

Sadly, though, liberals never have consented to debate opponents by assuming a scholarly stance.

Perhaps they are right in their utlandish assertions. But by the time you fight through the gaseous clouds of emotions and name-calling, you are too fatigued to challenge.

Perhaps we “deniers” — a fairly sickening term previously only employed to characterize anti-Semites’ contentions about the Holocaust— are wrong.

Through all of our schooling, weren’t we trained to believe that the only way to settle a disagreement was through a comparison of scholarly findings.

Instead, the lads of the Left have dwelt on puerile name-calling, or did you miss Little Harry Reid — the gentile analogue to Foxy Waxy Waxman — last night calling his Republican opponents in the Senate as evil as the (historically Democratic) defenders of slavery.

Harry Baby, how mature of you.

Not one of the thousands of fools — the label fits as snugly as a inely tailored suit of clothes — comprehends, much less can explain, global warming. They can tell you about a lonely polar bar. So can Winnie the Pooh.

Still, these gullible lefties wasted greenhouse gas emissions flying to Denmark, hardly around anyone’s corner, for the United Nations Hocus Pocus Global Warming Conference in the middle of another frosty Copenhagen winter.

How swift of them.

My friends, that scenario belongs on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

The Los Angeles Times can scarcely keep a straight face over this worldwide fraud, burying the second-day story for the much-ballyhooed U.N. showdown on Page 27, just ahead of the Fibber McGee and Molly comeback.

Let’s Play Hide-and What?

The evidence supporting the immensely vague claim of dangerous man-made global warming was so thin to begin with, the Times yesterday was reduced to relying on — get this — the Environment Minister of Norway as its expert that the world will die if Copenhagen flops.

The minister’s wife doesn’t even know what he does for a living. And his children don’t know where Copenhagen is.

If the Hocus Pocus Conference fails, he may have to live with Tiger.

Or better yet, Elin, who last week bought a new home not far away.

Tragedy struck the global warming true believers — “we don’t need no stinking evidence” — last month. The pace of melting evidence has accelerated since a smart British hacker broke into the embarrassing emails of a major university center that has been a prime source of global warming advocacy. It clearly showed extensive manipulation of data.

One of the disgraced scientists, the University of East Anglia’s Prof. Phil Jones was forced to the sidelines — at least until a probe is completed. Other scientists, including Prof. Michael Mann of Penn State, have lost hard-won prestige since the scandal blew up.

The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times have expended supra-human energy papering over the story, ignoring it the same way television networks (cable and broadcast) have angrily denigrated it as a weightless story.

Everyone Knows His Lines

Even as Swish’s popularity declines at the pace of a boulder flipped into a creek, the wounded White House has managed to stay on script.

In timing deviously orchestrated to coincide with the circus coming to town — the start of the two-week Copenhagen Hocus Pocus Conference — Lisa Jackson, the dreaded head of the draconian Environmental Protection (!) Agency, had an unsurprising, big headline announcement yesterday for all of us good boys and girls.

Said Lisa Baby, to quote the L.A. Times: Greenhouse gases produced by vehicles, power plants and factories are a danger to public health.

Officially, that means life as we have known it for eons, is over.

Lisa Baby’s edict covers everything except my grandson’s little red wagon.

What a darned coincidence.

Next: Look for Swish to bypass a skeptical Congress in the wake of this handy earthshaker and, by fiat, implement obscenely expensive regulations to ostensibly suppress those planet-choking emissions.

At least we will all have the satisfaction of all dying broke.