[img]1|left|||no_popup[/img]In honor of the opening of the United Nations Copenhagen Hocus Pocus Frigid Fortnight Climate Change Conference — now you’re warm, now you’re cold — isn’t it deliciously ironic?
The secular Left, which spent the eight Bush Years mocking the President for needlessly alarming the citizenry by saying Muslim terrorists were knocking on our doors, easily verifiable, even by a child — now the Lefties are alarming us that Global Warming/Climate Change — unverifiable, except by scientists crouched in distant caves — is heralding the end of the world, any year now. We can’t see it. We can’t feel it. We can’t hear it. They can’t explain it.
But hey, dude, the end is nigh — take my word. Proof we will do another time.
In the old days, before the internet, such harmlessly looney people as the Hocus Pocus global warmies wore beards, filthy white garments and shlepped sandwich boards urging sinners to repent before lunch, the end was so darned close. They were not arrested for an acute reason:
No cop could edge close enough. They smelled like your unburied dog who died last summer.
The ladies and gentlemen who opened two weeks of joke-telling in Copenhagen this morning all carry traveling bottles of perfume.
Have You Made Out Your Will?
We commend the holy ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations’ Hocus Pocus conclave for modestly tagging their enclave “The Summit to Save the World.”
Is there going to be a sequel, Murgatroyd?
What’s left to claim?
Liberals never seem to suffer from low self-esteem. I wonder why.
Those of us who have chuckled, without interruption, over these grandiose, preposterous formulations apparently will be the first to go to our doom if we don’t reverse our stand and execute a global loyalty pledge before Thursday’s dinner hour.
After observing the frantic scrambling by the global warming loonies since one of their email sanctuaries in Great Britain was broken into last month, I owe readers an apology.
Liberals do have a sense of humor, unintentional though it may be.
If the Left did not have control of 98 percent of the print and electronic media, the straight-faced but morally icy boys and girls who have been pushing climate change as if it were dope — must be a correlation — the Hocus Pocus Conference on Global Warming would have been laughed into outer space, or wherever global warming is reliably reported to live.
Bernie Lives to Ride Again
The Hocus Pocus Conference is the collective version of Bernie Madoff. Just like Bernie Baby, the governments of the committed (you can say that again) countries will dip into your wallets every year for the rest of your lives. After you die, the global warmies will not hold you fiscally liable.
These kids could gain fulltime employment with whatever circuses have survived into the internet age.
Pal, if you are late getting home one night and you feed your wife the junk science blarney that the global warmies have been espousing, she will eject you out the nearest window, whether it’s open or not. That way you can test climate change throughout your fall to the darned cold ground.
The Hocus Pocus Conference is Swish Obama’s toy du jour.
Like the green movement, mass creation of imaginary jobs, healthcare reform and the Afghan War — he strongly supports all of these unworkable, insoluble brainstorms. Just don’t ask him to explain any of them.
Ol’ Swishy loves everything that sounds impressively dense and does not require an explanation.
How do you think he became President instead of Tiger (Wait ‘Til You Hear Me Hum My Newest Single — Elin Moved Out) Woods? Tiger was out playing instead of campaigning last year. He was up to 7 separate dollies this afternoon when counting stopped for the day.
