Home Editor's Essays Obama’s Favorite Sound: Swish. The Enemy Scores Again

Obama’s Favorite Sound: Swish. The Enemy Scores Again

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[img]1|left|||no_popup[/img] The single most brilliant tactic conceived by Swish Obama’s administration was to ignite 75 agendas simultaneously — imagine 75 kleig lights furiously crisscrossing the night skies above your home — so many that you are too dazzled by the collective impact to notice one stray strand periodically going haywire.

We, however, are taking notes, even though most of his loyalists in the media still are playing human shield while Swish copies Letterman and performs what look like stupid pet tricks.

Only in a telephone booth for midgets is Swish the smartest person in the room.

The latest Obama strand to gag to death — in stunning media anonymity — is his unbelievably puerile attempt to bring Iran, led by the manical Smiling Dwarf, into the family of nations, as he so unimaginatively phrased it almost two months ago.

A slow-minded child could have predicted this latest pie-in-the-face for Swish when he brayed that he would do what no one else in the world could:

Civilize Iran’s tyrannical leadership and flatten its nuclear, conquer-the-world program.

Swish did the nearly impossible by striking out on two pitches.

His Next Unprecedented Feat

I guess, though, if you never admit defeat, you remain unbeaten even if you are winless on your agendas.

The President really said the following:

He, Barack Obama, who had slept away from home only two nights in his whole life, would stride into the laughing Dwarf’s cave lair and turn him into such a presentable, trustworthy fellow you would not mind if your daughter dated him.

It remains a close call whether Swish, Howard Dean or Sen. Harry (I Never Have Cracked a Book) Reid is the biggest current fool in the Democrat Party.

Since crookifying the “presidential” elections last June — when Swish, diplomatically looked away — killed a few dissenters — when Swish looked away — jailed a few others — when Swish looked away — threw pie after pie in Swish’s face (when Swish did not look away) by making a clown of him after allegedly negotiating a peace-now treaty over Iran’s hidden, widespread nuclear facilities, the Smiling Dwarf laughed in Swish’s face and said, evilly, “You, sir, are a fool.”

Swish wittily responded: “Who has a towel?”

When Was America Discovered, Swish?

Mr. Obama knows less about history than any modern President, including Jimmy Carter. He has forcibly withheld his academic records, understandably, to spare himself embarrassment.

All Presidents, from Lincoln down, commit spectacular gaffes, but Mr. Obama may take the overall lead before his first year is complete.

When Swish announced this week he would attend the U.N. climate change conference next month — why? because it is out of town — giggles were barely stifled. Swish knows nothing about global warming. Most of us don’t. But most of us are not President, and most of us don’t pretend we are mavens. He knows even less than Al Gore, and if you ever have heard Mr. Gore explain theories behind global warming, you would swear the rich, fat Tree Stump was auditioning for Saturday Night Live.

In a contest for sheer ignorance, dear reader, bet on the telephone pole every time, not Swish.

The lead story in today’s newspapers reported that Mohammed ElBaradei, the America-hating, virulently anti-Semitic departing head of the United Nations’ near-joke watchdog team for Iran’s nuclear program, said the investigation of Iran’s intentions and facilities,“is at a dead-end. Tehran is not co-operating.”

When ol’ Mohammed makes that embarrassing admission, the game is definitely over.

But the President stands in a blizzard, in his swim trunks, and asks, blithely, “What snow?”

You have been skunked, again, pal.