Would someone kindly lean over and pick me off the floor as the shock slowly starts to subside?
(Mole) Hill Clinton, our chubby-ankled, hot-tempered Secretary of State, inarguably has one of the worst marriages going in America, where standards have dipped to record lows.
And so Mountain, as Bill calls (Mole) Hill in honor of her wide-ranging tush, announces this morning from her scarf-covered hideout in Serenity Valley, formerly Pakistan,that she is going to try to unstick the next round of peace talks this weekend between Israel and the Palestinian Authority’s Boo! Abbas, who has renamed himself in honor of Halloween.
Isn’t that a stitch?
Wouldn’t it be more entertaining if Mr. Netanyahu of Israel and Boo! Gotcha!, the unrepentant Arab terrorist, mediated the next round of peace talks between Bill and (Mole) Hill?
Yoo-Hoo, Bill, Are You Hiding Again?
Yes, but Bill is missing in action, as usual, and we do mean in action. Ever since Mole hired on last winter as part-time Secretary of State, Bill has felt free to roam, as far away as Rome, with any pretty young thing he can entice.
At this very moment, the heavily motivated, and heavy ankled Mole could not locate her husband even though a doctor she met last night promised to thin both of her shapeless ankles free of charge if she could find him in less than 24 hours.
Mole and Bill took a vow on their wedding day that the truth would always be their enemy, and by golly this turned out to be the only vow either liar ever has lived up to.
Since her first non-serious assignment last winter as Secretary of State, Swish (Why Are They Laughng at Me?) Obama has kept Mole busy off in the servants quarters, dusting the ceilings and keeping the cheese supply fresh at all of the White House ratholes, owing to her familarity with the species.
The joke in Washington is that Swish has stunned all insiders by sending Mole on more meaningless missions than Vice President Biden, and as a result, her esteem is low and her famous steam is rising rapidly.
Swish’s Failure List Swells
Selecting Mole for this assignment when she has less experience at mediating Middle East peace than a grocer in Ottumwa, Iowa, suggests once against how un-serious Swish was about the dump truck full of flamboyant, insincere promises he distributed to the tens of millions of bumpkins and stooges who believed him then and now.
A casual look at the record shows that this has been yet another Mama, I Flopped Again week for Swish the Sucker. He was humiliated 5 days in a row by the Smiling Dwarf in Iran over the nuclear facility tomfoolery that Swish said he would try to shut down. The Dwarf just laughs at Swish’s amateurish lexicon. He hopes Swish tries to make himself President for Life, like his pals Zelaya, Castro and Chavez. The Dwarf calculates that if he lives long enough, he could ultimately control at least 48 of the 50 American states.
For a change of pace, Swish was spanked by his Tautological Team for so boorishly, clumsily spanking Fox News when he has all of the lesser networks already trolling for him. Not all of the greed resides on Wall Street.
Swish keeps sending mixed messages about a healthcare reform bill. I fear that he and my long dead dog have digested the same amount of information about the latest House measure, all 2000 pages of gobbledy-gook that was placed online this morning.
I am getting a headache from all of the campaign fibs Swish told that are coming back to haunt him. The lead story in some newspapers this morning revisited his brassy scam about “saving or creating 2 1/2 to 3 million jobs” in recession-scorched America.
If Swish has saved or created one job, I would stand to salute him. That is how far wrong he was.
I couldn’t find those revelations in the Los Angeles Times, though, no doubt because it is published by the West Coast branch of Whores for Obama. The Times, you see, believes Democrats and liberals are demitasse-drinking demi-gods, and, like their Messiah, quite without sin.
Take this morning’s lead editorial, their disingenuous defense of one of the oiliest ethnic-centric legislators ever to hit Sacramento, the defrocked Fabio (I Feel So Mexican Today) Nunez, who flies off to the Continent with taxpayer money and spends like a drunken sailor with a bad accent. The disgraced Nunez wail tale would be a hoot on the comedy circuit. Except all of the non-liberal comedians are dead.