Home OP-ED When Time Outs and Counseling Do Not Work, Do We Medicate?

When Time Outs and Counseling Do Not Work, Do We Medicate?

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I am a candidate for the School Board of the Culver City Unified School District.

The School Board is the most important elected position, even more than the President.

Actions and policies made by this small but powerful group have a lifelong effect on our kids.

School is their first experience in the community outside the comforts of home, the first place where they have to deal with people who may not always have their best interests at heart.

It is here that they may first be exposed to “life is not fair, sometimes” syndrome. Just because they are small, do not think for one minute that they do not notice things.

These “little people,” as I call them, are fascinating to watch grow. Smarter than you think, they mostly tell you the truth. They speak from the heart. There is no question where you stand with them.

If you ever have an opportunity (which may change, if I had my way) to volunteer in the classroom, you will understand the struggles of the kids and the teachers. How frustrating it must be for teachers having to deal with the undisciplined child frequently disrupting the classroom.

A day in the life of a kindergarten teacher — kids on the rug listening to the teacher read “Three Little Bears.”

Meanwhile:

“David hit me.”

David move your space. Sit here.

“David kicked me.”

Time out, David (15 minutes). Face the wall.

(Golly gee. This is more fun than listening to that stupid story.)

Effects of Budget Cutting

What else can a teacher do?

She has 19 other kindergarten kids she is trying to educate, mostly by herself.

Her aide is split between her and three other kinder classes (budget cuts).

Think she does not appreciate me? She lets me know it every day.

Time-in.

Sit over here.

Twenty minutes later: “David pulled my hair.”

Okay, this time you are going to the office. Mr. Abrams can you accompany him?

At the office, several other kids, some older, just sitting in a line not doing any thing particular. I ask some of them, why are you here?

I was “bad,” was the common theme.

On my way back to the K-class, I reflected back at the time when I was a kid.

You did not want to go to the “office,” Door No. 1.

Oh, Did They Change

Many bold souls went there with a “smirk,” came back with tears streaming down, looking like they had just seen a ghost.

I had never heard of any second requests.

Nor was I curious enough to find out what was behind Door No. 1.

Rumor had it that was the Board of Education.

David came to the K-class after a half hour time out. This was scenario throughout the entire school year.

In the beginning, I would tell mom or dad when they would pick up David after school. Something like, he is disrupting class too much. Missing a lot of class work.

David was advanced; he could already write his name and read.

We have tried, they would reply. We will talk to him.

Occasionally other kids would act up and get a time out. I would go back and sit with him and tell him to write a note to his parents. When the parent would come to pick him up, I encouraged him to give his parent the note. After a couple times, those kids were model citizens.

Different Conditions

Fast forward to the second grade. David returns.

(David was not in my son’s first grade class. I would see him frequently, but I did not monitor his activities.)

First day, David was placed on time-out half of the school day.

After the third day, the teacher finally caught on. She said something like, Sit over here because you like it back there.

When David was in Kinder, I thought that was just immature. But this is second grade.

I thought Miss T would be able to handle him.

I knew her from before. She taught my older son eight years ago.

(What a difference eight years make. G.W. Bush had just taken office).

Now she has 23 (up from 20 — budget cuts) 6 and 7 year olds, including David.

Not that this is bad enough, but she has been stressed out about reduced salaries pink slips, over crowding, unfair District Office (budget cuts).

Every morning, her class, along with the other kids, has to navigate crossing a small river of water on the upstairs walkway.

It comes from the poorly planned construction of this building, made possible by a $40 million bond approved by voters in 1996, after the citizens toured the schools and had seen the deplorable conditions of the building built in the 1950-‘60s.

Five years earlier, voters rejected a $92 parcel tax similar to Measure EE on the Nov. 3 ballot.

Water comes from condensation accumulated on the metal rooftops each day, and it drains from the gutters right onto the walkway.

The walkway has started to develop cracks in pavement. The protective cover long since has been worn off, leaving exposed pavement. Sitting water will find a way to travel down into a structure. Ever heard of water damage? A simple maintenance job (budget cuts?) turns into a major restoration.

Rusted support beams.

Hey, who knows how long this is been going on? A year ago, one of the classrooms sprang a leak in that same building, flooding the place. Class had to be relocated elsewhere.

In the second week of school, the A/C unit running (is an individual unit in each classroom cheaper than central air?), what’s the electric bill like?

Guess I could find it in the District’s Administration180-page budget book, if some one would just give me the code.

Teacher has a student turn the A/C off. Too noisy. Could not hear roll call. After 5 minutes, I asked Ms. T if I could turn it back on. As I push the On button, I noticed a change filter warning light glowing. That’s maintenance’s job. So mind your business.

Found out maintenance is Mr. A. He wears many hats. I remember last year I used to help him set up and take down the stages and to clean up the cafeteria (which doubles as the auditorium) after lunch because there was a program after school being held there.

One guy expected to do all this. (No way, I say to myself, would I do all of this.) (Budget cuts.)

It is rumored that they were going to ask all the teachers to rotate the job to save that money. I think the union has resisted that one, so far. You never know. I am surprised at the stuff they have accepted already.

David starts early.

Sit over here, Ms. T instructs.

Already, she is starting to get annoyed. I collect the homework and proceed to correct the papers.

Once I get to David’s paper, I freak out.

What happened?

Answers were incomplete. On some were written, “I forgot how to do it.”

His handwriting looked like it did in Kindergarten.

How could this be?

He was so advanced back then.

Now I realize, District, we have a problem.

I see his mom quite a bit. When I saw her, I told her how David was still acting up. She informed me that they were in counseling. They were considering “medication.”

I was shocked.

Medication?

I asked her, does David get spankings,?

She said that she could not, and it was obvious, because she has health issues.

Earlier this year, my son was invited to a party for David, which had several physically capable relatives including grandparents.

David just needed some one to spank him.

Next day when I saw David, I asked him, did he ever get spankings?

Yes, he said, when he was little, by the babysitter. She was meannn!

That reminded me of the time my oldest son was at another school (private, Catholic) and one of his first grade classmates did normal things, like move when bored. He just appeared to be bored more than most of the kids (must have been all that religion).

We’ll call him “D.”

I volunteered there also. When the parents were called in, you could see the distress on their faces.

They confided to me they were faced with having to medicate their son or leave the school.

(I remembered when my daughter (38 now) was in Catholic school they would not only tap you with a ruler; I heard they would wash your mouth out with soap).

“D’s” parents asked my opinion.

A couple years later, I saw them at a soccer match between our sons, and they thanked me.

I thought they were going to kiss my hand.

Over the years, I have run across them, and they keep me abreast of his progress at the other school (honors, stuff like that).

About a year later I left that school, just before my term as PTO (organization) president was to begin.

Outta there.

Change is scary for a lot of people.

Keep it the same.

Hated that I disappointed my supporters,

Gave them so much hope.

Never got actively involved with PTA again. Concentrate my time in the classroom.

Discipline in the schools: New Wave Time Out vs. Old School, Southern Style.

Mr. Abrams may be contacted at gabrams@ca.rr.com