[img]1|left|||no_popup[/img]In the latter stages of courting my wife, I remember feeling nervous as the time crash-landed for one of us to make a binding decision.
As a devout student of sophism who was trained to be an objective journalist, I assured her that the verdict I was about to reveal selflessly took into consideration, with quivering fairness, an outcome that would be equally beneficial for her and for me.
“I am merely trying to be evenhanded,” I said at the time, a vague position that sufficiently confused her until she agreed to get married.
Look Who Was Listening
My favorite journalists must have overheard us and filed away the term for later application.
Amidst the flying dirt that corrodes the air around Times Mirror Square, infelicitous fumes from the disgusting homeless probably leaked into the pristine offices of the editorial writers for the Los Angeles Times.
There is no other explanation.
For those among us too dumb to decipher the obvious received wisdom of Swish Obama, the rapacious rascals who write editorials lectured us one more time this morning on the opaque merits of the tried-and-failed Obama Middle East Doctrine of, you will pardon the titter, “evenhandedness.”
Here is the principal fallacy of the ill-reasoned, Muslim-centric, Obama peace process:
For 61 years, Arab dictators have been telling the world Israel is exclusively theirs. They bray openly that only after they have murdered every Israeli Jew, cleansed the land, will there be an Arab version of “peace.”
Arafat used to say it twice an hour.
The boys at the Times and all others on the Left disagree. “The Arabs are just kidding,” they have insisted for six decades.
Hundreds of dead Jews would attest the opposite.
But cheerleaders on the Left, including the President, are using the same words this summer to defend the Smiling Dwarf holding Iran hostage. “Ahmadinejad is just kidding when he says he will destroy Israel,” they chant piously.
Inevitably, then they break into an insult toward George W. Bush, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney or Sarah Palin, having run out of conversation. They are as predictable and unimaginative as my first generation of ex-wives.
This Is Not a Detail
But you will notice, dear reader, this is one time that the historically untrustworthy Arabs have perfectly kept their words.
Jews still live in Israel. Ergo, no peace.
This is not a joke.
Nevertheless, the Obama dog-and-pony show ploughs through its paces, oblivious to the real world, which is how the President lives.
The Times’ lead editorial makes more illogical, fairy tale presumptions than a dizzy teenage bride would believe on her wedding night.
Consider this whopper:
Israel needs a change in its exclusive diplomatic relationship with America as badly as we ignorant Yankees do. Why? Because “the exclusive relationship has failed to provide security or produce a sustainable peace.”
The dumbkopf conclusion is that peace has eluded the Middle East for six decades because every U.S. administration until now has been seen as Israel’s ally rather than a disinterested observer of the peace process, you know, the way, oh, Egypt or Jordan or Syria or Hamas or Fatah is.
My favorite portion of these sickening wheezes is the description of Arab responsibilities that somehow never get fulfilled. Jews are handed a work list that forces wide-ranging, life-disrupting concessions.
The Arab to-do list, though, is reliably gauzy. While Jews need to turn over a significant part of Israel to their avowed killers, Arabs effectively, need to keep their hair combed.
Oh.
Here is the Times:
“At the same time the administration is applying pressure to Israel on (freezing) settlements, it is pushing Arab states for confidence-building measures.”
Comb Your Hair, Brush Your Teeth
The Arabs must promise not to kill Jews, and then they can have their own state — the 23rd in the region while terrorized Jews cower and huddle closer together.
Thank you, Mr. Obama. Good thing you are a friend of us Jews. Otherwise we might be uncomfortable.
Next, The Little Rascals on the Left probably will try to convince us that it is faster to deliver mail by horseback because horses don’t have to stop at Arco every few days.
When the boys in short pants and shorter attention spans at the Times erroneously recount history, they say the following:
Since 1948, foolish American administrations have collossally flopped in trying to impose “peace” on the Middle East because they have taken a pro-Israel stance. Shrewdly, they overlook a single fact:
Since the briefly jubilant May morning in 1948 that the United Nations pronounced the land official, the nearly two dozen enemy Arab lands encircling Israel, all run by dictators, have made permanent war on those darned, pesky Jews who must think they own the joint. Arab terrorists started and lost every war.
Picky, picky.
When you read Times’ editorials half a dozen times a year endorsing the brilliance of an “evenhanded” diplomatic approach to the Middle East process that has been repeatedly sabotaged by Arabs, you think of a brain-wrecked child. He keeps trying to convince you 1-plus-1 is 3, no matter how often you correct him.
In the tradition of President Obama, the boys at the Times peer through a drizzling mist and evoke the word “evenhanded. Then they abruptly stop, without actually defining what they believe “evenhandedness” means.
This is crucial to invoking the philosophy, and you know what the Left historically has done when the going gets tough. They retreat into abstract language that sounds like a thousand harps being strummed in the background.
What some purveyors appreciate about Times’ editorials is that you can read, analyze and regurgitate them in their entirety as you are falling out of a second-story window to your death.
They are reasoned through with the thoroughness of a scholarly kindergarten student.
The deeper the boys wade into the weeds, the sillier they sound.
In Paragraph Two, they offer as proof of Swish Obama’s “unbreakable bond” with Israel the fact that four powerless Obama stooges stooped down this week and visited Israel.
The boys at the Times must have missed an essay by a prominent left-wing Israeli journalist this week in The New York Times. Here was a lefty, a Peace Now-type, begging Mr. Obama to visit Israel himself — as he has many Arab leaders — instead of dispatching powerless flat-footed flunkies.
Mr. Obama’s Muslim slip, you see, is showing.
