Home OP-ED As Your Understanding of Each Other Grows, Your Arguments Will Diminish

As Your Understanding of Each Other Grows, Your Arguments Will Diminish

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[img]560|left|Nicholas Pollak||no_popup[/img]Here's a question.

What do you give the spouse who has everything?

If you are a person with logical (emotional) left-brain tendencies, the gift you give will be as expensive as you can afford. The more expensive (as your budget allows), the deeper your love for your spouse.

If you are a person with heart (physical), right-brain tendencies, you will give something you think your spouse will like. It is the physical's tendency to have the spouse be more like the physical himself or herself rather than what the spouse actually is.

They will give a gift that reflects what they want you to be or look like or would have liked for themselves.

To please an emotional, the physical will offer all that they have to make their mate happy. They express themselves through their bodies; sex is the most used physical means of expressing their love, caring and affection.

To please a physical, the emotional will offer their love through disciplined work and expensive gifts as expressions of love.

Citing Distinctions

Emotionals are not as sexually needy as their physical spouses. Although at first they will have sex often, after about three months the emotional will cool sexually and will only offer sex every two or three days.

Unfortunately, instead of cuddling after sex, the emotional believes that they have satisfied the needs of their spouse and will get up and go to do something else. The sex act and emotional release are over, and thus compartmentalized to another place while their busy minds move to other issues.

The physical begins to feel neglected and pushes for more attention. The emotional starts to perceive the spouse as clingy, whiny and complaining, losing all respect for the other physical.

The gift to the physical is the understanding of the physical's behaviors and ensuring that even though you don’t have sex as often as your physical spouse would like so as to prove your love for her, as she does for you, you are still making them happy by paying them compliments, being attentive and letting them know that they are appreciated in many ways.

Perhaps that means making a date for sex in a couple of days.

Show you appreciate their meals, their attentiveness toward you and their understanding of giving you the space you need when you need it and being there for you when asked.

The gift to the emotional is the physical's understanding of the emotional's needs to compartmentalize, the need to observe rather than talk in social situations, the appreciation of the gifts and lifestyle given to them through their spouse’s hard work.  To recognize that the longer and harder the spouse works at a career the deeper the desire to succeed and to be a good provider for his family. To understand that emotionals express their love and devotion through material acts of giving.

How You Can Enrich Each Other

Here are more gift ideas.

The gifts of understanding each other.

The gift of unqualified love.

The gifts of a lifetime of memories that time together create.

The gift of common experiences, the laughter, the anger, the love, the hate, the gift of shared goals,

The desire for you both to be successful.

The gift of remembering what attracted you to each other in the first place.

Remember your combined goals?

Are they still the same?

Are the interests that you share still the same?

Do you enjoy being together? Do you enjoy being apart?

Do you have happiness, success and prosperity?

Start with a simple philosophy of, total honesty, no matter how much it hurts.

Be thoughtful and honest with your answers to yourself and to your spouse. A new honesty with an understanding of Physical and Emotional behaviors is a sound foundation upon which to build and create a relationship in which you begin to understand your own and each other’s behaviors.

Honesty in communication creates clear choices, an understanding of how you both arrived at where you are now and your mutual commitment to a life together. The solutions to create a better future for yourselves, both alone and together, in whatever you choose for your success.

Kindness, caring and concern for your spouse's welfare — all are musts for a successful relationship.

Be sensitive to and caring of your spouse's needs, at the same time meeting your own needs.

Unless you are good for you, you are no good to anyone else.

As your understanding grows, arguments will ease. Your common ground and affection will return.

A famous comedian once was asked if it was true that he had never had an argument.

He replied that it was true.

A clinical hypnotherapist, handwriting analyst and certified  master hypnotist, Nicholas D.  Pollak may be contacted at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net